Our theme today - Really Bad Christmas songs.
As per usual, I have been warned by the CDC that I should avoid posting Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. It would be considered risky given your mental state.
This late-Seventies novelty song is undoubtedly one of the darkest in the carol canon, featuring gory lyrics detailing the “hoof prints on her forehead” and “incriminatin’ Claus marks on her back.” Duly noted.
Excuse My Christmas Jan Terri –
Please don’t get me wrong – this is bad. Really bad. Spectacularly bad. And yet, Ms. Terri is very well known as an ‘Outsider Rock and Roll‘ performer and there are people posting on the web that this is one of their favorite holiday songs. It’s starting to have an Ed Wood, Plan Nine From Outer Space feel to it.
Puppies Are Forever Sia –
If you listen to it as a PSA about the responsibility of pet ownership, it’s barely tolerable. As a song, it’s painful
That’s Christmas To Me Pentatonix –
Imagine all the secondary characters from Glee were suddenly asked to sing a big number at the state finally – this would be the result.
The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot Vera Lynn –
Nobody would remember Vera, if this was a more well known song. So forget it.
Mistletoe Justin Bieber –
I understand that Justin is ill but just say no.
We’ll end with our perennial favorite –
What list of cheesy holiday songs would be complete without this wretched dreck concerning a filthy child’s odd foot fetish (especially since it centers around his dying mother) – always an uplifting tune.
But I will give Patton Oswald the final word on the subject.
Demand Euphoria!
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