Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist


Ancient Romans celebrated a holiday called Feralia on February 21. At first it was a simple day off to recover from the holiday of February 20 (Salvia Divinorum), and to take care of last minute shopping before the holiday of February 22 (Salta Boca).



It was, coincidentally, the last day of the year according to the Roman calendar.

Over time it became a sacred day in its own right. It became a festival to honor the dead, and like most Roman holidays it involved some serious drinking. Feralia also resembled most other Roman holidays in that it outlasted the western Roman empire. The jolly men and women of the Mediterranean basin saw no reason to give up the riotous holiday, with all its drinking and orgies, despite countless reminders from an ascendant Christian church that drinking was bad (unless it was Jesus' blood) and orgies were worse.



At last, in the 7th century, Pope Boniface IV decided that the holiday was Christian after all, except that instead of honoring all the dead it should honor only dead saints, that instead of Feralia it should be called All Saints' Day, that instead of drinking and orgies it should be a day of prayer and meditation, and that instead of February 21 it should be observed on May 13.

The good peoples of the Christian world happily accepted the new name and date, but persisted in drinking and vigorous humping. As punishment for this inappropriate enjoyment, Pope Gregory III moved it to November 1, and unwittingly laid the foundation for our modern Halloween.

Hold that thought.



Since as early as the 5th century BC, the ancient Celts had considered October 31 the last day of summer. They called the day Samhain (rhymes with Clamhain), and they believed all the divisions between the world of the living and the world of the dead were dissolved for that brief period. They thought the dead used this window of opportunity to possess the souls of the living, and the thought scared the piss out of them.

A variety of bizarre rituals to ward off the dead accumulated around Samhain over the centuries, including the sacrificial burning of virgins (when any could be found).



When these Celtic rituals collided with the Christian All Saints' Day, all hell broke loose. People didn't know whether they should pray, drink, orgy, burn virgins, or what. They tried a lot of different combination: they got drunk and prayed, they burned virgins and got drunk, they prayed to have orgies and got drunk with virgins, they prayed then got drunk and had orgies with virgins.



Eventually they settled on sending their kids out in silly costumes to ask their neighbors for candy. This was intended to keep them out of the house while the drinking and orgies raged, but since everyone's doorbells kept ringing from everyone else's children, the drinking and orgies gradually faded away.

Of course, this brief outline only traces the development of Halloween as we know it in America. The holiday is still celebrated in countries all over the world in an astonishing number of ways.



In Bulgaria, for example, October 31 is a national holiday called Pazardzhik. In rural districts, children dress up as kitchen utensils and dash from farm to farm tying chickens' feet together. Any unhappy farmer attempting to shoo the children away from his chickens will find himself pelted with manure and glass shards as the children sing playful Pazardzhik carols. In Mexico, the Day of the Dead lasts from October 31 through November 2, which has long been a concern to students of the Mexican calendar. The celebration is a fusion of sixteenth-century Spaniards' All Souls' and All Saints' Days and the Aztec festival honoring Mictecacihuatl, the Aztec goddess of the dead. (Mictecacihuatl was said to have died at birth as the result of complications relating to pronunciation of her name.)



One can't help but marvel at the similarities between the Day of the Dead that arose in Meso-America and Kyrgyzstan's Day of the Very Sick (November 1), Papua New Guinea's Evening of the Emotionally Exhausted (October 31), and Vanuatu's Cardiovascular Appreciation Days (October 31 - November 2).

In Saudi Arabia, October 31 is Sandy Night. As soon as the sun sets, children scamper out into the desert and fill their home-made bags with sand. The holiday is believed to be derived from the ancient Bedouin tradition of sending children out to fill bags with sand.



In Chile, Halloween is infused with ancient Incan traditions. Fretful mothers extinguish the fires in their hearths for fear of attracting Spaniards while naughty children take their parents hostage and demand their weight in chocolate.



In Wittenberg, Germany, October 31 is celebrated as the day on which Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the church in 1517. Many of the town's children frolic giddily about, nailing Theses here and there with impish delight, while others try to catch and burn them as heretics.



Whatever your own tradition, enjoy Halloween.



Be careful out there though - you know what, - why not stay inside.



Demand Euphoria!

Monday, October 29, 2018

Mythomania -


An abnormal or pathological tendency to exaggerate or tell lies.





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Saturday, October 27, 2018

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (92)

A new page from the ACME Catalog -


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with the second half of the 1991 premiere of Ren and Stimpy,, directed by John Kricfalusi, Stimpy's Big Day:



This episode is Muddy Mudskipper and Mr. Horse's first appearance on the show.


The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour is still broadcasting from high atop the famous Jonnet Building in downtown Monroeville, PA. Our operators are standing by to answer any questions about our programming.

Today is the 12th anniversary of the release of Amy Winehouse‘s second – and final – album, Back to Black, in the U.K. on this date. When the album was released, Back to Black wasn’t considered so much an album, as it was a confession. The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour wants to honor Ms. Winehouse by asking you to join us this evening in listening to this masterpiece. So why don't you pop an extra bag or two of popcorn, get on your PJs and get comfortable, while The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour get ready to play Back to Black.



Back to Black entered the Billboard Hot 100 album chart at #7, making Winehouse the highest debuting British female artist in the history of the US albums chart. The previous British female to achieve that honor was Lily Allen, who a few weeks previously had entered the American album chart at #20 with her debut album Alright, Still. Two weeks later the English white soul singer Joss Stone beat Winehouse's record when her Introducing... Joss Stone album debuted on the Billboard 200 at #2.



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Friday, October 26, 2018

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Monday, October 22, 2018

Geliophobia: -


The extreme fear of laughter or being laughed at.



Tim Conway said that his silly ab-libbing during the skit actually made Harvey Corman wet himself.



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Saturday, October 20, 2018

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (91)

A new page from the ACME Catalog -


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with second half of a 1992 episode of Ren and Stimpy, directed by John Kricfalusi, Powdered Toastman:



Oddly, Powdered Toast doesn't taste right unless Powdered Toast Man farts on it before it is consumed.


We, at ACME are still broadcasting today from high atop the famous Jonnet Building in beautiful downtown Monroeville, PA.

We were going to discuss the fake concert film The Song Remains the Same, which premiered on this date in 1976, but after we screened it earlier in the week, The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour thought better of it.The staff wanted to back to the beginning of Rock and Roll, so they remember the the bio-pix film about Alan Freed, American Hot Wax. So why don't you pop an extra bag or two of popcorn, get on your PJs and get comfortable, while The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour get ready to present American Hot Wax.



Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis and Screamin' Jay Hawkins all guest star in the movie in special stage performances. The three singers figured prominently in the birth of rock 'n' roll during the 1950s. Chuck Berry said he handled his own wardrobe, and it was all authentic. He still had an entire closet full of the suits he wore while touring during the time frame portrayed in the film, so what he wears in the film is what he actually wore on stage during the 1950s.



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Friday, October 19, 2018

I've earned this big time


Let's review: I've nearly scalped myself this week,
I've poked myself in the eye with an Allen wrench.
Yes, I've earned this one



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Monday, October 15, 2018

Ancraophobia: -

(Also known as Anemophobia,) is an extreme fear of wind or drafts.





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Saturday, October 13, 2018

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (90)

A new page from the ACME Catalog -


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with first half of the 1991 premiere of Ren & Stimpy series, directed by John Kricfalusi, Stimpy's Big Day:



Originally at the end of the cartoon, the microphone was planned to go into Stimpy's mouth. However, it seemed to remind Nick executives of a certain sexual method, so the scene was animated with the microphone going into his nose. The microphone in the mouth was never animated.


The crew at the ACME have been touring the country, looking for a new broadcast facilities for The Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour. We think we found our new home, high atop the famous Jonnet Building in downtown Monroeville, PA.

With all of our travels, we nearly forgot to program today's show. We haven't watched a movie together in a while, and with Halloween just a few weeks away we thought we'd watch a Godzilla double feature, both directed by legendary director Ishirō Honda: Invasion of Astro-Monster and Destroy All Monsters. So pop an extra bag or two of popcorn, get on your PJs and get comfortable, while The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour get ready to present Nick Adams, king of the Japanese monster movies, in Invasion of Astro-Monsters.



Nick Adams is speaking English throughout the Film, despite the fact he seems to be conversing with the other actors, who are clearly speaking Japanese. Adams was simply dubbed over into Japanese for the Japanese release. Conversely, when the film was finally released in the US, Nick Adams voice is the only voice not dubbed over. The Japanese speaking actors are dubbed over into English.



Wow, if that wasn't enough Godzilla for one night, get ready for the second action-packed feature, Destroy All Monsters. So hit the bathroom, get yourself another drink and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour on the couch, won't you?



The intent of Toho Studios was that this was going to be the final Godzilla movie as the popularity of Kaiju films was losing steam. However, it was very successful and Toho changed their mind and went on to create more Godzilla films into the 70's.



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Wednesday, October 10, 2018

There was just one problem



Every time the bat signal was flashed, the containers leaked.


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Monday, October 8, 2018

Hodophobia: -

The irrational and intense fear of travel.



With the 9.5 hour train ride looming large in our future, I wish I was leaving on a jet plain.



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Saturday, October 6, 2018

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (89)

(Due to the limited wi-fi connectivity I currently have on the train to Pittsburgh, I will be posting a semi- repeat, filled with new material.),


Another page from the ACME Catalog -



Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with the 1952 second pairing of the Road Runner/ Wile E. Coyote, directed by Chuck Jones, Beep, Beep:



When this cartoon first aired on Nickelodeon, there is a scene of Wile E. Coyote finds out his parachute is actually a knapsack filled with camping gear. As he falls, a brief sequence was edited to remove him taking out a pack of Acme Aspirin and swallowing them before waving pathetically at the camera and falling to the bottom of the gorge, (don't ask me why, I was there and I don't remember.)


On October 6, 1992, R.E.M. released their eighth studio album, Automatic for the People. The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to celebrate the 26th anniversary of their multiple platinum album by watching a documentary about the making of the album.



The album's title comes from the slogan for an Athens-area fast food restaurant. The unusual phrase was the slogan of Weaver D's Delicious Fine Foods, a laid-back Southern cooking establishment in Athens that had long been a favorite of the band. Peter Buck originally wanted to call R.E.M.'s new album Unforgettable, a tongue-in-cheek nod to Natalie Cole's album of duets with her legendary late father Nat King Cole, which had beaten Out of Time for Album of the Year at the Grammys that February.


As I am captive on a train, traveling backwards (I am, not the train,) I have time on my hands. So the Home office of ACME has given me the go ahead to watch, with you another fine program. In 1978, Benny Andersson and Frida Lyngstad (Anni-Frid Lyngstad) were married. Their marriage lasted until 1980, (which feels about as long as this train trip. Lets watch this 2013 BBC documentary about the group ABBA, The Joy of ABBA, why don’t we (I will be - I can’t say what you will be doing.)



The girls attained fame in Sweden as solo singers; Björn was in The Hootenanny Singers and Benny was with the Hep Stars, who were known as the "Swedish Beatles." In 1972, Björn and Benny released the single People Need Love, which featured Agnetha and Anni-Frid on backup vocals. This single was credited to "Björn & Benny, Agnetha & Anni-Frid," and was included on ABBA's debut album Ring Ring. When the band formed, Benny and Anni-Frid were a couple, as were Björn and Agnetha. The band name is their initials as an acronym. When ABBA was active, only the Volvo car company made more money in Sweden.



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Monday, October 1, 2018

Octophobia: -

A fear of the number eight.



While this may seem appropriate for the month, please remember, October is the tenth month of the year.



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