I refuse to play 'Have a Cheeky Christmas'

Today's holiday special - Really Bad Christmas songs.

I received word from medical authorities that I should avoid posting Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. It would be considered risky given your mental state.



Duly noted.


Rock and Roll Santa  Jan Terri -



Please don't get me wrong - this is bad. Really bad. Spectacularly bad. And yet, Ms. Terri is very well known as an 'Outsider Rock and Roll' performer and there are people posting on the web that this is one of their favorite holiday songs. It's starting to have an Ed Wood, Plan Nine From Outer Space feel to it.


Christmas Cookies   RuPaul -



There are certain words you never want to hear in a holiday song: "Finger-licking," "back door," "piping hot," "loving oven," and "Dutch oven." Because nothing says Christmas like a fart joke.


Don't Shoot Me Santa   The Killers -



Another holiday song that no one asked for - a murderous boy pleading with Santa to not shoot him. But they, there are folks who love this one.


Spin Me a Christmas   Aqua –



First Barbie Girl in 1997 then 12 years later this. It's just a Scandinavian nightmare.


Dominick the Donkey   Lou Monte -



Just say no.


We'll end with our perennial favorite -



What list of cheesy holiday songs would be complete without this wretched dreck concerning a filthy child's odd foot fetish (especially since it centers around his dying mother) - always an uplifting tune.



But I will give Patton Oswald the final word on the subject.



Demand Euphoria!