Monday, December 31, 2018

Here’s a brief overview of New Years Celebrations



Although the new year has been celebrated since prehistoric times, it was celebrated on the vernal equinox rather than what we now consider the first of the year. The Romans were the first to recognize New Years Day on January first. Rather than tie the day to some significant astronomical or agricultural event, in 153 BC the Romans selected it for civil reasons. It was the day after elections in which the newly elected assumed their positions.



Years later, Julius Caesar wanted to change the date to a more logical date but that year, January 1, 45 BC was the date of a new moon. To change it would have been bad luck. He did, however, change the calendar system from the Egyptian solar calendar to the "Julian" calendar, named for Caesar. July, the month of Caesar's birth, was also named after him to recognize him for his calendar reform. And look what it got him.



Up unto 1582, Christian Europe continued to celebrate New Years Day on March 25. Pope Gregory XIII instituted additional calendar reforms bringing us the calendaring system of the day. The Gregorian calendar was adopted by Catholic countries immediately while the reformists, suspect of any papal policy, only adapted it after some time. Today most countries around the world have adopted this calendaring system.



From primitive man to today, it has been recognized as a day in which rites were done to abolished the past so there could be a rejuvenation for the new year. Rituals included purgations, purifications, exorcisms, extinguishing and rekindling fires, masked processions (masks representing the dead), and other similar activities. Often exorcisms and purgations were performed with much noise as if to scare away the evil spirits. In China, Ying, the forces of light fought Yang, the forces of darkness with cymbals, noisemakers, and firecrackers.



Early European-Americans adopted the New Year celebrations from their homelands. However, it was noted by early settlers that native Americans already honored News Years Day with their own customs. Their rituals coincided with those around the world including fires, explosions of evil spirits, and celebrations. Today many of the New Year celebrations actually begin with a countdown to the New Year on the evening prior. It is customary to kiss your sweetheart when the clock strikes midnight as one of the customs of these New Years Eve parties.



Around the world, different cultures have their own traditions for welcoming the new year. The Japanese hang a rope of straw across the front of their houses to keep out evil spirits and bring happiness and good luck. They also have a good laugh as the year begins to get things started on a lucky note. In Argentina, people wear brand-new pink underwear to attract love. While in Brazil, people wear none; that usually works better.



In Germany, every year on December 31st, TV networks broadcast an 18-minute-long skit in English called Dinner for One.



In 1963, Germany’s Norddeutscher Rundfunk television station recorded the sketch, performed by the British comics Freddie Frinton and May Warden. Since its initial recording, the clip has become a New Year’s Eve staple in Germany. The clip holds the Guinness World Record for Most Frequently Repeated TV Program, (although Dinner For One has never been broadcast in the U. S. or Canada.)

In Siberia, brave divers plant the New Year's Tree underneath frozen lakes — sort of like a polar plunge. Much like a Christmas tree, the Siberian New Year Tree (or yolka) is supposed to signify the coming of Father Frost, but its planting also symbolizes starting over. The jumping-into-a-frozen-lake challenge is just another addition to the year-end festivities.



In Italy, nothing says “Happy New Year” like red underpants. Red underwear is a staple of the New Year’s tradition in Italy. The color choice invokes centuries-old superstition that the color keeps bad luck and evil at bay, and encourages good luck. Now, even if you find yourself in Rome without a pair of rosy unmentionables, no worries. Shops and street vendors have plenty for sale.



In South Africa, people throw appliances out the window (watch out!!). In Denmark, you break a dish for a friend. They save their old dishes only to throw them by the dozen at the doorsteps of family friends on New Years. In theory, the bigger the pile of broken dishes you find on your door steps, the bigger pile of friends you have.



New Year Resolutions are simply another way to wish away the past in exchange for hopes of the future. It is where the phrase turning over a new leaf originated. I hope 2019 brings good health and better luck to all (especially all our idols.)


New Year's Poem - Margaret Avison

The Christmas twigs crispen and needles rattle
Along the window-ledge.

    A solitary pearl
Shed from the necklace spilled at last week’s party
Lies in the suety, snow-luminous plainness
Of morning, on the window-ledge beside them.  
And all the furniture that circled stately
And hospitable when these rooms were brimmed
With perfumes, furs, and black-and-silver
Crisscross of seasonal conversation, lapses
Into its previous largeness.

    I remember  
Anne’s rose-sweet gravity, and the stiff grave
Where cold so little can contain;
I mark the queer delightful skull and crossbones
Starlings and sparrows left, taking the crust,
And the long loop of winter wind
Smoothing its arc from dark Arcturus down
To the bricked corner of the drifted courtyard,
And the still window-ledge.

    Gentle and just pleasure
It is, being human, to have won from space
This unchill, habitable interior
Which mirrors quietly the light
Of the snow, and the new year.



Demand Euphoria!.

Sunday, December 30, 2018

Just a few more pages on the calendar

We found a couple more best of mash-ups for the end of the year -







Really, how many of them have you seen?


I think I have one more Christmas present for you that was stuck all the way in the back of the tree -



Paramount originally acquired the rights to The Cheaters as a vehicle for Carole Lombard and John Barrymore. After Lombard's tragic death the property was sold to Republic as a potential vehicle for Binnie Barnes. Joseph Schildkraut signed a contact with Republic pictures for financial security, taking over the John Barrymore role. In retrospect, Schildkraut characterized the decision as one of THE major mistakes of his life.


If you don't stop by tomorrow, have the happiest of New Years.  And remember bunkies, don't drink and drive tomorrow.



Demand Euphoria!

Saturday, December 29, 2018

In Memoriam

Another year has come and gone and we here at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to remember some of the people we lost in 2018. Here is a roll call of some (in no particular order) today


Jerry Van Dyke, 86:




Dolores O’Riordan, 46.




Bradford Dillman, 87.




Dorothy Malone, 93.




John Mahoney, 77.




John Gavin




Vic Damone, 89.




Nanette Fabray, 97.




David Ogden Stiers, 75.




Steven Bochco, 74.




Susan Anspach, 75.




Harry Anderson, 65.




Avicii, 28.




Margot Kidder, 69.




Joseph Campanella, 93.




Patricia Morison, 103.




Clint Walker, 90.




Philip Roth, 85.




Anthony Bourdain, 61.




Harlan Ellison, 84.




Tab Hunter, 86.




Charlotte Rae, 92.




Aretha Franklin, 76.




Barbara Harris,




Robin Leach, 76.




Neil Simon, 91.




Carole Shelley, 79.




Bill Daily, 91.




Burt Reynolds, 82.




Marty Balin, 76.




Charles Aznavour, 94.




Montserrat Caballe, 85.




Sondra Locke, 74.




Stan Lee, 95.




Roy Clark, 85.




Bernardo Bertolucci, 77.




Ken Berry, 85.




Nancy Wilson, 81.




Penny Marshall, 75.





Demand Euphoria!

Friday, December 28, 2018

We're back - but only for a brief moment


We're home for the holidays, briefly - we're dropping off laundry and picking up clean clothes, (we're heading to the annual meeting of the ACME Corporation's board of directors. I never know if one of the largest shareholders, Wile E. Coyote will show up or not?)

I brought back another Christmas gift from our travels. (I may find another one during the weekend.)



According to Rosemary Clooney, Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye's "Sisters" performance was not originally in the script. They were clowning around on the set, and director Michael Curtiz thought it was so funny that he decided to film it. In the scene, Crosby's laughs are genuine and unscripted, as he was unable to hold a straight face due to Kaye's comedic dancing. Clooney said the filmmakers had a better take where Crosby didn't laugh, but when they ran them both, people liked the laughing version better.


Here's another interesting list of the best films of 2018 from Andrew Rivard - an aspiring film editor from L.A. -



I really hope Mr. Rivard is finally a working editor on Los Angeles at this point -  his work shows.


And on this last Friday of 2018, as I always say that it's 5 PM somewhere,  please remember to drink til up drop this weekend and don't drive. The life you save may be yours (and mine.)



Demand Euphoria!

Thursday, December 27, 2018

We here at ACME are taking it easy (part 2)


We're traveling the country - I'm performing pick-up frontier surgery in parts unknown

I found another Christmas gift under the tree. (I may find another during the week.)



This was the first feature-length film for producer George Pal. The stop-motion animation used in creating the illusion of a dancing squirrel (Rupert) was so realistic that George Pal received many inquiries as to where he got a squirrel that was trained to dance.


Here's the next mash-up of year end review videos: this one, the best films of 2018 by David Erhlich, is a yearly favorite of mine



Once again we ask, "How many of them have you seen?"



Demand Euphoria!

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

We here at ACME are taking it easy



I found another Christmas gift under the tree. (I may find another during the week.)



The script for this film and the play on which it was based was inspired by Alexander Woollcott's infamous overnight stay at Moss Hart's Pennsylvania country home. Woolcott's visit had been an unmitigated nightmare, both for himself and Hart. Woolcott's overbearing, outrageous, and unbearable behavior included: insisting that he would not go to bed unless a milkshake and chocolate cookies were prepared for him, demanding that all the heat in the house be turned off, refusing to sleep in any room other than Hart's bedroom, accusing the servants of dishonesty, and writing in Hart's guestbook "I wish to say that on my first visit to Moss Hart's house I had one of the most unpleasant evenings I can ever recall having spent."


Since it's the end of the year there are lots of year end review videos. I usually find the time to post a few: this one, United State of Pop 2018: A Mashup of the 25 Biggest U.S. Pop Songs of 2018, is one of the more famous



I still have to ask the kids to tell me what some of the songs were.



Demand Euphoria!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

Feliz Navidad/ Joyeux Noel

This could be a subliminal commercial for Le Sueur® Brand Peas



If not, then it's just another holiday song.



And that was for those of you not in a particularly holiday mood at all.


As today is the first night of Christmas, here are some more unusual gifts to consider giving -



(This song was from last year - it could easily be updated with more indictments.)



Also, please send all of your friends the gift of an inappropriate thought this holiday season.


If you run out of topics around the table this evening, have your family watch this brief video about the holidays from the folks at Mental Floss -



Once again, we here at ACME once again want to wish everyone a happy and healthy holiday by sharing this Christmas poem:

Let us all be Noticers today.

        Let us notice our children’s gifts rather than their flaws.

        Let us notice what our spouse does right, not what he or she did wrong.

        Let us notice the sacrifices our parents made, rather than all the times they messed up.

        Let us notice how hard people are working not how quickly they are providing service.

        Let us notice where our love and kindness is needed, rather than spew criticism and scrutiny where it is not needed.

        Let us be Noticers.  Love others right where they are.  Love others just as they are.  Someone is just waiting for us to notice what’s blooming or wilting inside that could use a little undivided attention.

… The one who notices and responds with empathy can create a ripple effect.  Because compassion spreads . . . compassion is contagious!”

        “… finding Glimmers of Goodness within a day is possible – even when you are irritated, annoyed, or frustrated.  Try taking each not-so-pleasant experience or feeling and thanking it for its hidden gifts.

        Thank you, growing older.  It is in finding another gray hair and another laugh line that I appreciate the gift of another day.

        Thank you, pang of guilt.  It is in wishing that I did things differently that I appreciate the opportunity of Second chances.

        Thank you, disappointment.  It is in experiencing letdown that I appreciate the fact that I had the courage to try.

        Thank you, daily challenge.  It is looking straight into the face of sorrow, struggle, fear, frustration, heartache, and worry that I appreciate the fact that I keep showing up.  And I will keep showing up.

        Because even on the hardest days, even in the most challenging moments, I can see tiny glimmers of goodness if I look closely for them.


Demand Euphoria!

Monday, December 24, 2018

Join us - there's always room at the table

Most of the staff and their family have joined us for the Christmas Eve dinner of the seven fishes; we keep losing track of how many fishes we've consumed, (it might have something to do with the number of bottles of white wine that we've consumed.)




Here's some fun facts about Christmas while we try to sort this all out.



Well, maybe you knew some of these facts (especially if you've been playing the home version.)











Why not watch these cartoons for your family while we try to sober up -

Somewhere in Dreamland -




Silly Symphony Santa's Workshop -




Toy Town Hall -




Bedtime for Sniffles -




Santa's Pocket Watch -



One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.


Scrooge get an Oscar The Odd Couple -




Now that you're in the proper mood for the holidays - I'll leave you with these thoughts from Ogden Nash and his poem: The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus.




I've told my kids and maybe you'll tell yours - Dammit kids, get to bed! The sooner you go to sleep, the quicker Christmas will be here.



Norad Santa



Demand Euphoria!.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

I know you are, but what am I?

In case you've grown tired of all of those kids holiday specials, here's one that's a tad more adult - Pee Wee's Christmas Special: originally broadcast December 21, 1988.

Remember to scream 'really loud' when the secret word 'YEAR' is said:



The choir of Marines was actually the Men's Choir of UCLA (in marine uniforms). The producers had hoped to book the actual Marine Corps choir, but they were unavailable at the time of filming.


If you need more time to wrap your gifts or just relax, why not continue to listen to The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour Rockin Soul Christmas Revue (Old School)

Please Come Home for Christmas   Charles Brown -




Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas    The Staples Singers -




Gee Whiz It's Christmas   Carla Thomas -




I Want to Come Home at Christmas    Marvin Gaye -




Angels We Have Heard On High   Aretha Franklin -




Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto   James Brown -




Someday at Christmas   Stevie Wonder -




This Christmas   Donny Hathaway -




Christmas is in 2 days

Demand Euphoria!

Saturday, December 22, 2018

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (100)

Another page from the ACME Catalog --


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with a Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1960 Chuck Jones directed, Hopalong Casualty:



Several networks airing this cartoon cuts a scene where Wile E. gets tangled on a cactus with dynamite. The cut makes it seem that Wile E. threw the dynamite and it exploded.


Christmas (and Festivus, for that matter) is nigh (most of the staff of ACME have begun their serious holiday drinking; once again, we're not insane,) and you may be running around doing your last minute holiday shopping. Why not take a breather and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching a marathon of Christmas themed episodes. So absolutely, put on your pajamas, find a comfortable spot on the couch and watch these holiday episodes with your best friend - your TV.

Christmas Eve at the Booby Hatch   Laverne and Shirley-



The actor Laverne is shamelessly flirting with is actually David Duclon, the writer of the episode.


Santa Comes to Visit and Stays and Stays   Bewitched! -



Santa Claus is played by Ronald Long--a frequent guest star on Bewitched!


Mister Magoos Christmas Carol -



There is a popular rumor that the song People was written for -- and rejected by -- this project. It's not true. The composer Jule Styne and lyricist Bob Merrill were working on the song for the Broadway musical Funny Girl at the same time that they were writing this score. The producers of this project heard them playing it, and were thrilled, until they learned that it wasn't for them. Obviously, it went on to become a hit for the star of Funny Girl, Barbra Streisand.


Miracle On Third Or Fourth Street   Frasier -



Even though Bonnie Weems has her picture up on the wall of the station for the majority of the series' 11 season run, this is the only time actress Kathryn Danielle has a speaking role and credit in Frasier.


Christmas Special   30 Rock -



The man playing the piano during the Christmas special, shown while Jenna is singing, is musician/producer Jeff Richmond, husband of Tina Fey.


Shhh - for an extra added treat, here's a short Puddles Pity Party concert at Paste Studio NYC from this past November



And finally what would Christmas be without our favorite 7 foot tall clown singing Christmas songs -



The staff and management of The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to wish you and yours the happiest and warmest of holiday seasons.

Remember, the best holidays are those spend with the ones we love. We hope we've een able to a a part of yours.




Demand Euphoria!

Friday, December 21, 2018

We've even got a Christmas Queen

Through the mid-'60s, Phil Spector was focused on singles, with his definition of an album being "two hits and ten pieces of junk." He took a different approach, however, when he put together a Christmas album in 1963, where he put a great deal of effort into every track. So please join us at ACME while we listen to The Phil Spector Christmas Album.



The only original song on the album was Darlene Love's Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), which he wrote with Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich. Spector issued the song as a single when the album came out, but unfortunately this was the same day US president John F. Kennedy was shot and killed. This seriously dampened the holiday mood and the single, as well as the album, were withdrawn.

I know it's not Christmas in our home unless we hear Darlene Love sing, so please enjoy Darlene Love's very first Christmas appearance on the David Letterman Show







And here's her 2014 (and final) appearance on the David Letterman Show:



But fear not -



And she actually sings other holiday songs:

All Alone on Christmas -




Christmas Must Be Tonight -




Who Took the Merry Out of Christmas -




Christmastime for the Jews -




x

Demand Euphoria!

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!

December 20, 1946 -

The Frank Capra film It's A Wonderful Life had a preview showing for charity at New York City's Globe Theatre, (a day before its official premiere) on this date.



The film is regarded as a classic and is a staple of Christmas television around the world, although, due to its high production costs and stiff competition at the box office, financially, it was considered a flop.



There have been countless parody of this classic film -











(Another, more adult alternate ending of the film) -



This is truly a strange little film.






Demand Euphoria!

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Genes, do not a family make (part 2)

Don't fear the enemy that attacks you, bad the bad family that hugs you.



Happy families are all alike ... even kids abused by their domineering father - (the Motown edition)



Today's Christmas countdown - A Jackson Five Christmas


The Christmas Song -



Mel Torme and Bob Wells were songwriting partners, and used to take turns going over to each others homes to write songs. One particularly hot July day, Mel drove over to Bob's house in Teluca Lake, California, and when he got there he walked into the house, couldn't find Bob, but found a spiral note pad of paper with some words on it - "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, Yuletide Carols being sung by a choir, folks dressed up like Eskimos." When Mel found Bob, he asked him "What's this?", and Bob said "it's so blistering hot here,and thought it would be fun to see if I could write something about a totally different season, the winter season, Christmas season, and see if I could mentally, virtually cool off." Mel said "not only have you also cooled me off, but I think you've got a song here!" And the duo wrote the rest of the song in about 35 minutes.


Little Christmas Tree -



Little Christmas Tree is a different holiday track in that it addresses loneliness and heartbreak–hardly typical topics for a Christmas carol.


Santa Claus Is Coming To Town -



One of the most successful Christmas carols of all time, this was outsold only by Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer and White Christmas.


Someday At Christmas -



This is one of the first Christmas songs with a social and political message. This was written by Motown songwriters Ron Miller and Bryan Wells, the team that also wrote Wonder's songs A Place in the Sun and Yester-me, Yester-you, Yesterday.


Christmas Won't Be The Same This Year -



We here at ACME are wishing you time to enjoy the simple pleasures of this holiday season.


And if don't enjoy yourself, Joe will be coming by to give you the beating of your life.


Eunice Dampbottom did not realize until it was too late that her aluminum Christmas tree obsession had taken over her life.
6 days until Christmas

Demand Euphoria!

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Genes, do not a family make (part 1)

Blood makes you related; loyalty makes you a family.

No family is perfect - Even kids abused by their domineering father



Today's Christmas countdown - A Beach Boys Christmas



Santa's Got An Airplane -




Child of Winter (Christmas Song) -




White Christmas -




Merry Christmas, Baby -




Another Christmas song they got around to sing in between the verbal abuse from their father

Blue Christmas -



There is no place like home for the holiday.






7 days until Christmas

Demand Euphoria!

Monday, December 17, 2018

A stake of holly through his heart.



There are literally dozens of adaptations of A Christmas Carol. Let's take a look at a few of them:

A Christmas Carol  (1910) -



This is one of the earliest film adaptations of the story. It featured Marc McDermott as Ebenezer Scrooge and Charles S. Ogle as Bob Cratchit.


A Christmas Carol (1938) -



MGM released a record-breaking 375 prints of the film so that as many people as possible could see it during the Christmas season.


The Christmas Carol (1949 TV special) -



The cast is led by Taylor Holmes as Scrooge and includes an early appearance by Jill St. John, then age 9 and billed as Jill Oppenheim, who plays one of the Cratchit daughters


Scrooge (1951) -



Child actor Glyn Dearman (who played Tiny Tim) became a radio drama producer and, in 1990, produced A Christmas Carol for the BBC. (It isn't really Christmas in our home unless we are watching this at about 2 am Christmas morning 'assisting Santa' with the gifts.)


Scrooge (1970) -



It took more than three hours each day to apply the old-age Scrooge make-up to Albert Finney, who was only thirty-three years old at the time. Finney was actually younger than his nephew Fred, played by the then forty-six year old Michael Medwin.


A Christmas Carol (1971) -



The animation is based on John Leech's illustrations for the original edition of the novel A Christmas Carol. It's the only film version of A Christmas Carol to win an Oscar.


Blackadders Christmas Carol (1988) -




It has been noticed by some that Robbie Coltrane's costume and character in this Christmas special, has a nearly identical portrayal to his much later role as Hagrid, in the film versions of J.K.Rowling's series of Harry Potter books. Also, its been claimed that JK Rowling herself had said Robbie Coltrane was always intended to have been cast as Hagrid in the films, suggesting that this Blackadder episode may in part have inspired the creation of Hagrid.


This could be the greatest mash-up ever, or at least the most labor intensive. Heath Waterman has spent 18 months putting together this labor of love, retelling the story of Ebenezer Scrooge in his video Twelve Hundred Ghosts - A Christmas Carol in Supercut.



Mr. Waterman uses clips from over over 400 versions of the holiday classic. (Make it your business to watch this!)


And there is no better way to get into the holiday spirit than drinking spirits -


Eggnog is usually thought of as a Christmas beverage and to tell the truth I am not a huge fan of Eggnog. So I find it amusing that the recipe that I'm posting is for Eggnog (Above is a copy of my family recipe - my father sent it to his sister in 1962.)

Coquito, a Puerto Rican twist on the classic, is a family favorite and I thought I'd share it with you and perhaps you can try it out on your family.

Please note: these drinks go down quite smoothly and are very potent - they could be administered as a calmative for frayed nerves during the holiday season.

Ingredients:

* 4 large egg yolks
* 1/4 cup of sugar
* 1/2 can of (14-ounces) condensed milk
* 1 14-ounce cans evaporated milk
* 1 1/2 cans of 15-ounce cans cream of coconut
* 1/2 of a Fifth of white rum (or more)
* 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* 1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
* 1 teaspoon coconut (or vanilla) extract


Tools:

* Drink Blender
* Can opener
* Glass


Directions:


Add the egg yolks, sugar, spices and vanilla into the blender. Mix until well blended.

Add the evaporated & condensed milk to the blender and briefly mix. (Condensed milk is very thick - you may want to open the can up all the way and scrap out all of the milk with a spatula.)

Vigorously shack the can of cream of coconut (it tends to separate.) Pour the cream of coconut into the blender and mix well. Scrap out any remaining coconut stuff from the can.

Add the rum and mix. Taste. If you think you need more rum, add it.

Refrigerate for at least an hour before serving. Serve cold.


A Christmas Carol  Tom Lehrer -







Demand Euphoria!

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Everyone enjoys the holidays at ACME


Here's our final guest programmer with her favorite Christmas jingles (this is absolutely true this year that - I had to chase her around the house to get her to give me this list.)


Remember, it's the holidays (there are no bad choices, especially if the guest programmer lives in my house.)


Santa Tell Me  Ariana Grande -



This video surpassed 100 million views on November 26, 2016. Who knew?


Mistletoe   Justin Bieber -



Part of the sales from Under the Mistletoe were being donated to various charities, including Pencils of Promise and the Make-A-Wish Foundation.


Underneath the Tree   Kelly Clarkson -



This Phil Spector-sounding song is an optimistic tune that was written by Clarkson with her frequent collaborator, Greg Kurstin.


Carol of the Bells   Robert Shaw - Collegiate Chorale -



Most people automatically associate Carol of the Bells with Christmas, but its origins tell a different story. It's actually based on a traditional Ukrainian folk chant that celebrated the season of rebirth and anticipated a prosperous New Year.


Dominick The Italian Christmas Donkey   Lou Monte -



Once again, I got nothing.


Once again, here a perennial favorite bonus track (in our house, anyway) - the inspired mash-up of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You and My Chemical Romance's Welcome To The Black Parade -



This is so perfectly matched that it seems it was written this way.





Demand Euphoria!


Saturday, December 15, 2018

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (99)

Another page from the ACME Catalog --


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with a couple for Christmas carols, one from an old friend of ours, Porky Pig, singing the Elvis classic, Blue Christmas:



The next is someone who should become a new friend of ours, Jimmy, the lump of Coal:




This weekend is smack dab in the middle of the ramp up to the holiday season: there are 10 more days until the big day (most of the staff of ACME have been working around the clock this holiday season for awhile - they have lost the concept of time.) While there are tons of list of the best this or that of the holiday, why not check out the worse. The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour came up with an evening's entertainment of many of the worse items this Christmas: many of them so bad, they're good. Let's first check out what could be the worst Christmas movie even (and no, it's not little Pia Zadora in Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.) So if you have the time, grab a bowl of popcorn, get comfortable on the couch and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching, the 1964 film (if I can use that word,) The Magic Christmas Tree:



The father is so obtuse that he does not see The Magic Christmas Tree even though it is right in front of him and hits it with his lawn mower. Unless he is blind he should have seen the tree long before he hit it even if it was new to him.



Let's keep today's theme going by checking out ACME's annual Bad Holiday songs. The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour encourages you to keep listening, (if you dare.)

First up again is Rock and Roll Santa by Jan Terri -



This is an amazingly bad performance. But Ms. Terri is very well known as an 'Outsider Rock and Roll' performer and there are people posting on the web that this is one of their favorite holiday songs. It is not one of mine.


Oh Come All Ye Faithful  Twisted Sister -



There's nothing really to say here - It's just bad, really bad.


Have a Cheeky Christmas  The Cheeky Girls -



We may never see Trump's Russian hotel tapes but we can watch this video and only imagine what it must be like


I'm Gonna Put Some Glue 'Round the Christmas Tree (So Santa Claus Will Stick Around All Year)   Joel Grey -



You read that correctly, Joel Grey made this novelty record in 1954.  It's bad enough to hear Joel pretend to be a young kid while he's in his early 20's when the song was released; think about him singing the song while dressed as the emcee from Caberet, (you're welcome for that image in your head.)


Santa Stole My Girlfriend  The Maine -



All I can say is that if a fat, married, middle-aged man, who spends most of his time hanging around elves, can steal you girlfriend, you have problems kid.


We'll end with our perennial favorite -



What list of cheesy holiday songs would be complete without this wretched dreck concerning a filthy child's odd foot fetish (especially since it centers around his dying mother) - always an uplifting tune.



But I will give Patton Oswald the final word on the subject.



Demand Euphoria!

Friday, December 14, 2018

Fifth Annual Mobbed Up Christmas:



The gentlemen from Bensonhurst were so moved by our themes concerning Frank and Dino that after much stregga and threatened 'kisses of death', I have be persuaded (forced at gunpoint) to have another Mobbed Up Christmas this year.


(This is not to say that any of these singers are in anyway associated with organized crime.) It's just that Frankie Lupini, Molluschi Vincenzo, Joey Carrozza, etc, 'requested' these songs.


Shake Hands With Santa Claus   Louis Prima -




Merry Christmas Baby  Dion -




The Christmas Song   Tony Martin -




Silent Night, Holy Night  Jerry Vale -




Do You Hear What I Hear?   Bobby Vinton -




Christmas Tears   Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons -




Christmas in Washington Square  Wayne Newton -




It’s Christmas Everywhere   Paul Anka -




After many shots (of rye) and plates of scungilli, baccalà alla vicentina and fried calamari, the boys want to wish everyone Buon Natale, as well as a belated Happy Hanukkah.


12 Days until Christmas


Demand Europhia!

Thursday, December 13, 2018

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.



Today's Holiday Theme is A Dean Martin's Christmas (Dean died on Christmas day in 1995.)


As we mentioned yesterday, Frank wasn't the only member of the Rat Pack to sing carols -


Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer -



Because Gene Autry's reputation was that of a Western star, he didn't feel suited to sing a Christmas song. The songs writer Johnny Marks, however, was determined to change Autry's mind (even though he'd never met him). He enlisted an unknown singer named Al Cernik to record a demo in the style of Autry and shipped it to the star in California. After a long wait - and some prodding from his wife - Autry agreed to record the tune.


Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow! -



This was written by the lyricist Sammy Cahn and the Broadway songwriter Jule Styne in 1945. It was first recorded by Vaughn Monroe, and has since become a standard.


I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm -



This is yet another widely recorded standard from the pen of Irving Berlin. One of the numbers from the 1937 film musical On The Avenue, to which Berlin contributed the lion's share of the music. It was performed by both Dick Powell and Alice Faye in the film, individually and together.


Winter Wonderland -



This was written in 1934 by Richard B. Smith and Felix Bernard. The lyricist Richard Smith served as an editor of a newspaper before taking up a career in music. The composer Felix Bernard, who was born in Brooklyn, New York, played the piano with popular orchestras and was also a tap dancer and writer of musical comedies for Vaudeville. He later became a composer and though this proved his greatest success, he also earned a steady income writing songs for Al Jolson and Eddie Cantor on radio shows.


What the hell I'm starting to feel the bourbon, let's watch an entire episode of The Dean Martin Christmas Show -



(sorry for the video distortion in the beginning of the tape.)

When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.



Demand Euphoria!

Before you go, remember to get your Christmas cards out soon. You've got to hurry to avoid the rush - The week of Dec. 17-23 is predicted to be the busiest mailing, shipping and delivery week, when nearly 3 billion pieces of First-Class Mail, including greeting cards, will be processed and delivered.

The more cards you send, the more solvent the USPS remains.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Acme's tip of the hat to Ole Blue Eyes



There are things about organized religion which I resent. Christ is revered as the Prince of Peace, but more blood has been shed in His name than any other figure in history. You show me one step forward in the name of religion, and I'll show you a hundred retrogressions.


Whatever Happened to Christmas -



Whatever Happened to Christmas was written by Jimmy Webb. Jimmy Webb has told the story of having dinner with Frank Sinatra to discuss the recording of an entire album of Webb songs. But Webb's father was also there, and Sinatra and Webb's father got caught up in comparing memories from their younger days, so the discussion about the album, and for that matter, the album itself, never happened.


I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day -



I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day is a Christmas song, composed by Johnny Marks to the words of a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. His poem, Christmas Bells, is about hope in dark places and was written in 1864 during the Civil War. It was written as Longfellow dealt with the grief from the wounding of his oldest son at the Battle of New Hope Church in Virginia and the loss of his wife in a tragic fire a few years earlier.


I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm -



It's not really about Christmas, but there's plenty of winter imagery in this frosty tune, what with the snow snowing and the wind blowing, making it a holiday classic with covers from Billie Holiday, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Ella Fitzgerald, Rosemary Clooney, Judy Garland, and Rod Stewart.


Hark! The Herald Angels Sing -



The words to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing were written by Charles Wesley, the brother of the founder of Methodism, John Wesley. He was inspired by the sounds of London church bells while walking to church on Christmas Day.


I’m not unmindful of a man’s seeming need for faith; I’m for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniels. But to me religion is a deeply personal thing in which man and God go it alone together, without the witch doctor in the middle.


Mistletoe And Holly -



The song was co-written by Frank Sinatra, Dok Stanford and Hank Sanicola.


Frank and Dean wishes you a Merry Christmas from TV Heaven (actually from the Christmas edition of Dean Martin TV show.)-







Christmas is in 13 days

Demand Euphoria!