Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Everybody scream, everybody scream!



Ancient Romans celebrated a holiday called Feralia on February 21. At first it was a simple day off to recover from the holiday of February 20 (Salvia Divinorum), and to take care of last minute shopping before the holiday of February 22 (Salta Boca).



It was, coincidentally, the last day of the year according to the Roman calendar.

Over time it became a sacred day in its own right. It became a festival to honor the dead, and like most Roman holidays it involved some serious drinking. Feralia also resembled most other Roman holidays in that it outlasted the western Roman empire. The jolly men and women of the Mediterranean basin saw no reason to give up the riotous holiday, with all its drinking and orgies, despite countless reminders from an ascendant Christian church that drinking was bad (unless it was Jesus' blood) and orgies were worse.



At last, in the 7th century, Pope Boniface IV decided that the holiday was Christian after all, except that instead of honoring all the dead it should honor only dead saints, that instead of Feralia it should be called All Saints' Day, that instead of drinking and orgies it should be a day of prayer and meditation, and that instead of February 21 it should be observed on May 13.

The good peoples of the Christian world happily accepted the new name and date, but persisted in drinking and vigorous humping. As punishment for this inappropriate enjoyment, Pope Gregory III moved it to November 1, and unwittingly laid the foundation for our modern Halloween.

Hold that thought.



Since as early as the 5th century BC, the ancient Celts had considered October 31 the last day of summer. They called the day Samhain (rhymes with Clamhain), and they believed all the divisions between the world of the living and the world of the dead were dissolved for that brief period. They thought the dead used this window of opportunity to possess the souls of the living, and the thought scared the piss out of them.

A variety of bizarre rituals to ward off the dead accumulated around Samhain over the centuries, including the sacrificial burning of virgins (when any could be found).



When these Celtic rituals collided with the Christian All Saints' Day, all hell broke loose. People didn't know whether they should pray, drink, orgy, burn virgins, or what. They tried a lot of different combination: they got drunk and prayed, they burned virgins and got drunk, they prayed to have orgies and got drunk with virgins, they prayed then got drunk and had orgies with virgins.



Eventually they settled on sending their kids out in silly costumes to ask their neighbors for candy. This was intended to keep them out of the house while the drinking and orgies raged, but since everyone's doorbells kept ringing from everyone else's children, the drinking and orgies gradually faded away.

Of course, this brief outline only traces the development of Halloween as we know it in America. The holiday is still celebrated in countries all over the world in an astonishing number of ways.



In Bulgaria, for example, October 31 is a national holiday called Pazardzhik. In rural districts, children dress up as kitchen utensils and dash from farm to farm tying chickens' feet together. Any unhappy farmer attempting to shoo the children away from his chickens will find himself pelted with manure and glass shards as the children sing playful Pazardzhik carols. In Mexico, the Day of the Dead lasts from October 31 through November 2, which has long been a concern to students of the Mexican calendar. The celebration is a fusion of sixteenth-century Spaniards' All Souls' and All Saints' Days and the Aztec festival honoring Mictecacihuatl, the Aztec goddess of the dead. (Mictecacihuatl was said to have died at birth as the result of complications relating to pronunciation of her name.)



One can't help but marvel at the similarities between the Day of the Dead that arose in Meso-America and Kyrgyzstan's Day of the Very Sick (November 1), Papua New Guinea's Evening of the Emotionally Exhausted (October 31), and Vanuatu's Cardiovascular Appreciation Days (October 31 - November 2).

In Saudi Arabia, October 31 is Sandy Night. As soon as the sun sets, children scamper out into the desert and fill their home-made bags with sand. The holiday is believed to be derived from the ancient Bedouin tradition of sending children out to fill bags with sand.



In Chile, Halloween is infused with ancient Incan traditions. Fretful mothers extinguish the fires in their hearths for fear of attracting Spaniards while naughty children take their parents hostage and demand their weight in chocolate.



In Wittenberg, Germany, October 31 is celebrated as the day on which Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the church in 1517. Many of the town's children frolic giddily about, nailing Theses here and there with impish delight, while others try to catch and burn them as heretics.



Whatever your own tradition, enjoy Halloween.



Be careful out there though - you know what, - why not stay inside.




Monday, October 30, 2017

Sunday, October 29, 2017

If this kid shows up Tuesday,


Just hand him the candy

DO NOT engage him in conversation.



Demand Euphoria!

Saturday, October 28, 2017

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (39)


Another page from the ACME Catalog -


ACME would like to wish everyone a Spooky Halloween with a special Drive-In double-feature tonight. Before our first feature presentation begins, ACME would like to start the evening with a spooky Looney Tunes cartoon with the Frank Tashlin directed 1937 Porky Pig outing, The Case of the Stuttering Pig:



This is an unusual cartoon in that Petunia Pig appears as Porky's sister, rather than his girlfriend, as in her other appearances.


Our first feature tonight is the 1955 Joseph Newman (Universal was dissatisfied with some of Newman's work, and brought in Jack Arnold to re-shoot some scenes,) Sci-Fi B-movie classic This Island Earth, starring Jeff Morrow, Faith Domergue, and Rex Reason. Please join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in turning out the lights in the house and curling up on the couch.





This might change the way you view the film: According to Faith Domergue, the pants of her costume were so skintight that she could not wear underwear. A female assistant had to help her put them on and take them off.


Here's another page from the ACME Catalog -



Before our second film begins, ACME would like to show another spooky Looney Tunes cartoon with the Chuck Jones directed 1956 Bugs Bunny/ Witch Hazel outing, Broom-Stick Bunny:



It's unknown if Hazel's pet tarantula, Paul, died naturally or if she had used as an ingredient in a past potion recipe.

Our second feature tonight is a lesser known Sci-Fi B-movie, the 1957 William Asher (of Bewicthed fame,) The 27th Day, starring Gene Barry, and Valerie French. Once again, please join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in tossing another bag of popcorn in the microwave and making some more room on the couch for us. (If you made your old doctor another martini, that would just hit the spot.)





The beach scene at which Eve Wingate is out with her original boyfriend, and later where she throws away the capsules, is the same location used by Columbia for the famous love scene between Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in From Here to Eternity.

Kids, remember to let you parents check you trick-or-treat bags when you come home next Tuesday. You never know if the candy has been poisoned, especially the fancy chocolates.



Demand Euphoria

Friday, October 27, 2017

The proper response


When receiving your drink with too much vermouth



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Wednesday, October 25, 2017

In a pinch


Those small boxes of raisins will keep the kids away



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Monday, October 23, 2017

Arachibutyrophobia -


an irrational fear of peanut butter sticking to one’s palate.





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Saturday, October 21, 2017

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (38)


Another page from the ACME Catalog -


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with the fourth pairing of the Road Runner/ Wile E. Coyote, the 1953 Chuck Jones directed Looney Tunes cartoon, Zipping Along:



Some syndicated versions of this cartoon cut the scene of Wile E. being blasted by a row of rifles.


On September 28th, 2014 at the The Fonda Theater in Los Angeles, George Harrison's son Dhani, gathered a group of musicians to pay tribute to George Harrison and his songs. Please join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in listening to (an abbreviated) George Fest: A Night to Celebrate the Music of George Harrison.




Great musical trivia: He was the first Beatle to have a number one song as a solo act. My Sweet Lord hit the #1 spot on the charts in December of 1970. But then again he didn't really write it, did he?



Demand Euphoria!

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Halloween is in Two Weeks


Prepare yourself for the onslaught of Christmas decorations in your local stores



Demand Euphoria!

Monday, October 16, 2017

Saturday, October 14, 2017

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (37)


Another page from the ACME Catalog -


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with another Road Runner/ Wile E. Coyote Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1958 Chuck Jones directed , Hip, Hip Hurry:



Rather than having incidental music composed and arranged specifically for the cartoon, this is one of six Warner Brothers cartoons featuring a non-thematic stock soundtrack due to a musicians' strike. It was scored by John Seely of Capitol Records using stock music from the Hi-Q sound library.


In 1963, before the Rolling Stones hit it big, Charlie Watts met Shirley Ann Shepherd and they began dating. On October 14, 1974, the couple married. They have been married ever since.


The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to commemorate their anniversary by asking you to join us in listening to the Rolling Stones' 1973 album, Goat's Head Soup, which hit the US Billboard 200 in the No. 1 spot on October 13, 1973 and stayed there for four weeks. (It was the group’s fourth number one album.)



Great musical trivia (I'm being encouraged to stop encouraging gambling in taverns): The song Waiting On A Friend was originally recorded in 1972 during the sessions for the album Goats Head Soup. The song didn't make the cut but was repackaged and released on Tattoo You nine years later.



Demand Euphoria!

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Failed Ideas


Mr Sven Petersmann thought he had a surefire plan for his milk delivery business.

Unfortunately Tillie gets car sick



Demand Euphoria!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

A young satanist guide to invocations -

A young supplicant tries to conjure up Asmodeus; he is thwarted by a rookie move.

He forgot to remove the goat's diaper. 

Remember Kids - everyone has got to be naked during demonic rites.



Demand Euphoria!

Monday, October 9, 2017

Saturday, October 7, 2017

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (36)


Another page from the ACME Catalog -


Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with the 1952 second pairing of the Road Runner/ Wile E. Coyote, directed by Chuck Jones, Beep, Beep:



When this cartoon first aired on Nickelodeon, there is a scene of Wile E. Coyote finds out his parachute is actually a knapsack filled with camping gear. As he falls, a brief sequence was edited to remove him taking out a pack of Acme Aspirin and swallowing them before waving pathetically at the camera and falling to the bottom of the gorge, (don't ask me why, I was there and I don't remember.)


On October 6, 1992, R.E.M. released their eighth studio album, Automatic for the People. The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to celebrate the 25th anniversary of their multiple platinum album by listening to it with you today.





The album's title comes from the slogan for an Athens-area fast food restaurant. The unusual phrase was the slogan of Weaver D's Delicious Fine Foods, a laid-back Southern cooking establishment in Athens that had long been a favorite of the band. Peter Buck originally wanted to call R.E.M.'s new album Unforgettable, a tongue-in-cheek nod to Natalie Cole's album of duets with her legendary late father Nat King Cole, which had beaten Out of Time for Album of the Year at the Grammys that February.



Demand Euphoria!