Today's holiday special - Really Bad Christmas songs.
I received word from medical authorities that I should avoid posting Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. It would be considered risky given your mental state.
Duly noted.
Excuse My Christmas Jan Terri -
Please don't get me wrong - this is bad. Really bad. Spectacularly bad. And yet, Ms. Terri is very well known as an 'Outsider Rock and Roll' performer and there are people posting on the web that this is one of their favorite holiday songs. It's starting to have an Ed Wood, Plan Nine From Outer Space feel to it.
Christmas Cookies RuPaul -
There are certain words you never want to hear in a holiday song: "Finger-licking," "back door," "piping hot," "loving oven," and "Dutch oven." Because nothing says Christmas like a fart joke.
All I Want For Christmas Is You Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey -
The holiday song that no one asked for - Mariah Carey's 1994 Christmas classic updated to feature Justin Bieber.
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas Gayla Peevey –
People say that this is rarely heard - there's a reason. Apparently little Gayla didn't know that she was hoping for the beast that, "kills more people in Africa than any other animal".
The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late) Alvin and the Chipmunks -
Just say no.
We'll end with our perennial favorite -
What list of cheesy holiday songs would be complete without this wretched dreck concerning a filthy child's odd foot fetish (especially since it centers around his dying mother) - always an uplifting tune.
But I will give Patton Oswald the final word on the subject.
Demand Euphoria!
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