Meet our staff (cont'd):

And now we come to the head of our Human Resources Department, Herr Karl Juckende Hintern, an old school chum of mine (just don't mention the war.) Herr Juckende Hintern's door is always open for any problem you may have.  In fact, Karl will have already heard about any problem you may have, (just don't go see him after 4 PM; he has a mimeograph ink huffing problem, but we don't like to talk about it.)  New employees should remember that they will need to submit their request for suicide pills in triplicate into the HR office within the first 30 days of the start of your employment.

A fun fact: the Oxford Dictionary credits Karl with originated the phrase, 'the beatings will continue until morale improves', except in the more encouraging original German - 'das dchlagen fährt fort, bis moral verbessert!'