Thursday, October 7, 2010

Tastier vegetables

Let it not be said that I am pushing an all meat and dessert diet, far from it. I actually like vegetables. In fact, here is a simple and quick way to prepare most vegetables - substitute your favorite vegetable for green beans in this recipe (although I don't know if you can fit an entire Hubbard Squash in a 2 Qt. Saucepan.)


Ingredients

* 1/2 lb green beans
* 1/3 cup of chicken stock (
or water)
* 2 tablespoons of olive oil (or canola oil)
* 1 clove of garlic * Kosher salt and ground black pepper


Tools

* sharp utility knife
* cutting board

* 2 quart saucpan with lid

* 1 glass of wine


Directions

Turn the radio on in your kitchen or place the on in the livingroom loud enough for you to hear it in the kitchen but not loud enough for you to get evicted (that would be incredible stupid - over cooking green beans, come on.) Listen to what ever you like, once again, it's green beans. I'll leave the choice between you and your God.



Trim the ends of the green beans (this is a great job for your prep chef. Since you are working in a professional kitchen, this job should fall to the youngest person in your house that you can still boss around. If you live alone, you're the man.)

Rinse your bean and set them aside.

Peel and thinly slice your garlic. Place your saucepan over a medium-high flame. Put all of your trimmed green beans and sliced garlic in the hot saucepan and add your water and canola in you're on a diet (add the chicken broth and olive oil if you're not.) Add a pinch of salt over the beans and cover with lid.

Occasionally, shake the saucepan back and forth over the heat much in the same way you would make Jiffy Pop. Listen to the music, sip your wine and contemplate how much belly button lint you would need to knit a sweater. It should take you about 7 minutes to finish your wine, come up with an answer (which I'm not sharing) and cook your beans. Turn off the heat, remove the lid and season with salt and black pepper, to taste.

Serve.

While we're at it, here's another vegetable you can cook in the same method - Escarole. The only thing about escarole is - it's a filthy vegetable. Really dirty, what do they grow this thing in -dirt. You have to wash your escarole several times to make sure you get all the grit out of it or you are on your way to consuming the average 8 lbs. of dirt most Americans consume during a year (now there's an appetizing way to start a recipe.)


Ingredients

* 1 medium head of escarole, (about a lb.)
* 2 tablespoons of olive oil (or canola oil)

* 1 clove of garlic

* Kosher salt and ground black pepper

* Pinch red pepper flakes



Tools

* sharp utility knife
* cutting board

* 2 quart saucepan with lid

* pair of tongs

* 1 glass of wine



Directions

Repeat the directions concerning music from the green bean recipe.



Remove any wilted, tough outer leaves of the escarole and discard. Dismember the remaining head and put in the basket of your salad spinner (if you don't have a salad spinner then put the leaves in a deep bowl.) Fill with very cold water and agitate the leaves (tell them anti-union jokes) until all the dirt has rested on the bottom of the bowl. Be disgusted by how dirty the water has become. Lift the leaves from the bowl and repeat a few times until the water in the bowl appears clear and not girt is on the bottom (if you have OCD, do this exact three times - no more or less.) Dump the water, shake the leaves dry (not bone dry) and put aside.

Peel and thinly slice your garlic. Heat the oil, garlic and pepper flakes in your saucepan over medium-high heat. Add half the escarole and stir until just wilted. Add the remaining escarole. Place the lid on top of the saucepan (leaves should be poking out.) hold down the lid over the leaves as though you are trying to suffocate them with a pillow. Once the leaves have given up the ghost, lift the lid and toss the wilted leaves around so they don't stick to the bottom of the pan. This should have taken you about 2 minutes and you make have broken out in a sweat, murdering your vegetable. Reward yourself with a sip of wine.

Occasionally, shake the saucepan back and forth over the heat much in the same way you would make Jiffy Pop. Listen to the music, sip your wine and contemplate that that delicious soup called Italian Wedding Soup, containing escarole, little meatballs and chicken broth is about as Italian as Chicken Chow Mein is Chinese. It should take you about 5 more minutes to finish your wine (a little less if you life a firmer escarole), remember the last time you had Italian Wedding Soup or went to that kind of wedding and finish your escarole. Turn off the heat, remove the lid and season with salt and black pepper, to taste.

Serve

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