Cauliflower (the white cruciferous vegetable)

Cauliflower is another vegetable you can add to your diet. All the health benefits of broccoli and it's not green (I'm not partial to green myself.) I have two ways to prepare it here - one a health way, the other is a delicious way (I'm joking.) Roasting the cauliflower is delicious and it's a convenient method if you're already roasting a piece of meat in the oven.

Roasted Cauliflower
Ingredients

* 1 large cauliflower
* 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil (or canola oil)
* 1 tablespoon sliced garlic
* Juice from half a lemon
* 1 anchovy fillet (you won't taste it.)
* 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
* 2 tablespoons grated Parmesan
Tools

* sharp utility knife
* cutting board
* 1 large bowl
* 1 heavy duty baking tray
* 1 large pot
* 1 large wooden spoon or tong
* 1 sieve
* 1 glass of water (come on, you can't drink all the time.)


Directions

Turn on the radio, preferable to NPR. Hey, a lot is going on in the world that you should know about.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Fill pot 3/4 full with water and bring to a boil. Salt the water (if my father-in-law was in the kitchen with you and you were boiling water for pasta, you didn't put enough salt in the water. But that's another story.) Cut your cauliflower away from the central core and into florets. Joke with yourself about how you are doing brain surgery. Realize how lame a joke that was. Cut the core up into bite size pieces. Put all of your botched surgery into the boiling water for 2 or 3 minutes (again, for those of you with OCD - exactly 2 minutes 23 seconds.) Drain and set aside. I don't know how large a kitchen you have but when I have to set things aside usually things are stacked on top of other things, but I digress...

In a large bowl, add the olive oil, lemon juice (which you strained through your fingers to catch the pits. No one likes roasted lemon pits), anchovy fillet, salt and fresh ground pepper. Mix and mash them all together so you can't recognize that you used an anchovy fillet (I promise you, even if you hate anchovies, you won't taste it.) Add the cauliflower and toss so they are well covered. Notice that NPR is covering a story about how the Chinese are holding a large amount of the U.S. debt. Wonder to yourself if this is a problem or not. Wonder if the Chinese will call in this debt anytime soon. Wonder if the Chinese like roasted cauliflower. Take a sip of water (notice it doesn't taste anything like alcohol.)

Pour the dressed cauliflower onto the baking tray and spread out into a single layer (make sure you get any remaining oil or bits out of the bowl and onto the tray.) Put the tray into the oven and cook for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally to ensure even roasting. Listen to some more of NPR. Hear a story about a young man in Africa who built a windmill that supplies electricity for his village with bits and scraps he found in a local dump. Realize that you can barely put together a bookcase from IKEA with that damn Allen wrench. Finish your water and probably have to go to the bathroom (wash your hands.)

Remove from the oven and sprinkle with the Parmesan (if you wish.) Serve immediately while still warm.


In case you need to force vegetable onto some unsuspecting diners in your crowd, everything goes better with cheese -

Baked Cauliflower with Cheese Sauce

For those of you on a diet, avert you eyes.

Ingredients

* 2 tbsp. butter + 1 tbsp
* 1 tbsp. flour
* 1 cup milk
* 3/4 c. Cheddar cheese, grated (or any other firm cheese that you like, I'm not the boss of you)
* 1 teaspoon of mustard (or in my house 'moutarde', leave the 'S' off for savings)
* 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
* 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
* 1 large cauliflower
* 1/2 cup of Italian Bread crumbs (or plain bread crumbs if you have a beef with Silvio Berlusconi that day.)

Tools

* sharp utility knife
* cutting board
* 2 1/2 quart oven proof Casserole Dish
* 1 2 quart saucepan
* 1 large pot
* 1 whisk
* 1 large wooden spoon or tong
* 2 cup Pyrex measuring cup
* 1 sieve
* 1 glass of water (come on, you can't drink all the time.)

Directions

Turn on the radio, preferable to a classic rock or an adult alternative station (you need to move around for this one.)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Butter your casserole dish and set aside.

Fill pot 3/4 full with water and bring to a boil. Salt the water (you already know the drill about my father-in-law.) Cut your cauliflower away from the central core and into florets. Avoid the brain surgery joke - it didn't work the first time. Cut the core up into bite size pieces. Put all of your pieces into the boiling water for 5 minutes (again, for those of you with OCD - exactly 4 minutes 56 seconds). Drain, dump into large mixing bowl and set aside. Start thinking about getting a new apartment with a bigger kitchen if you are going to do all of this cooking, but I digress...

Put saucepan over a medium heat and melt butter. Add the flour to melted butter and whisk until all the flour is incorporated into the butter and continue to whisk for two minutes (make sure you don't burn the roux - yes, you are in Emeril Lagasse territory.) If you wish, you may begin doing your Julia Child impressions at this point. Hopefully the Rolling Stones are playing in the background at this point, believe me, imitating Julia Child and bopping around to the Rolling Stones at the same time is funny. Psst, you’ve about to make a morney sauce

Microwave your milk and add slowly to your roux (it's going to hiss and bubble as you first add it - don't worry, be happy.) Add all of you milk and boil and stir until thickened (stick with me here, most of the hard work is done.) Add seasonings, moutarde and the grated cheese (hopefully, you've come to a decision about what cheese you want to use by this point) and continue to heat, stirring constantly until cheese is melted. Take off heat.

Pour your sauce over the cauliflower and mix well but be careful not to completely mash up the florets. Pour out the sauced florets into the buttered casserole dish and top with bread crumbs. Place dish into oven and bake for 30 minutes (the dish should be bubbling and the breadcrumbs golden brown. If that happens 25 minutes into cooking, so be it.)

Take it out of the oven and serve.