Maybe I've miscounted, is it really the seventh night?

Another reason Hanukkah feels better than Christmas - Latkes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.

Open a window someone , it's the Seventh night of Hanukkah.



That oil is a tad rancid


If you can stand it, more Hanukkah songs

I Gotta Feeling Hanukkah   The Fountainheads -




Chanukah Lights   The Jabberwocks of Brown University -




Kurstin X Grohl: The Hanukkah Sessions: Night Five -



Everyone has to play the music of little Robert Allen Zimmerman


Hanukkah with Mayim Bialik -




Spin Dreidel - Dance Monkey    Pella Singers -




It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Hanukkah   B-Shep -




Stop eating all the fried food - no one's looking


Everyone enjoys the holidays at ACME. Here's our final guest programmer with her favorite Christmas jingles (once again, I had to pester her for two days to get her to give me this list.)

Remember, it's the holidays (there are no bad choices, especially if the guest programmer lives in my house.)


This Christmas   Donny Hathaway -



Like many Christmas songs, this one took a while to find an audience. Released as a single in 1970, it went nowhere, but later became a modern holiday standard, covered by a wide range of artists including Destiny's Child, Aretha Franklin and Lady Antebellum. Chris Brown is the only artist to chart with the song, reaching #62 in 2007 with his rendition.


Do You Hear What I Hear   Bing Crosby -



Married couple Noel Regney and Gloria Shayne Baker penned this Christmas carol in October 1962. Generally it was Baker who wrote the lyrics for their songs while Regney composed the music, but in this instance it was the other way around.


Cool Yule   Louis Armstrong -



Cool Yule is a 1953 Christmas song written by Steve Allen and introduced by Louis Armstrong. It's been covered by The Brian Setzer Orchestra and Bette Midler.


Jingle Bells?   Barbra Streisand -



One of the more unusual versions is by The Singing Dogs, which was created by a Danish man named Don Charles and featured four dogs barking out the tune. It was originally released in 1955 as a medley with Pat-A-Cake and Three Blind Mice, but in 1970 the song got some attention and was re-released with just Jingle Bells.


Little Saint Nick    Beach Boys -



Cars were a common theme in early Beach Boys songs, notably Little Deuce Coupe, which was the template for this song that envisions Santa's sleigh as a Nordic Hot Rod: candy apple red with a 4-speed stick. Brian Wilson wrote the song with Mike Love.


Once again, I was going to play a perennial favorite bonus track (in our house, anyway) - the inspired mash-up of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You and My Chemical Romance's Welcome To The Black Parade, but children made me run screeching from the room after hearing the new mash-up of Mariah Carey and Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's WAP. Once you hear it, you can not unhear it - But you sick puppies, I'm not going to play it here.



Demand Euphoria!

Hang in there

It's the Sixth Day of Hanukkah, there are just a few more days to go

At this point you may want to skip the unnecessary calories and just drink the oil - but not too much. Mussolini used to use this as a torture for his political enemies.




Another reason Hanukkah feels better than Christmas - Yes, Rivka'le, there is no Santa Claus.

Can I interest you in Hannukah? -




Goyim Friends   The LeeVees -




A Hanukkah Pap Smear CBS Cares -



Nothing says I Love You more than the gift of a smear


Dreidel Blue   David Ross -




Kurstin X Grohl: The Hanukkah Sessions: Night Four -



Who knew Peaches was Jewish?


A Week and a Day   Boyz II Menorah -




Remember, so far there has been no barking dog version of I had a Little Dreidel. You might begin thinking about where you are going to store your Hanukkah decorations? (I don't mean to insinuate that you aren't normally observant. Perhaps you proudly display your heirloom menorah in your living room. I can't be everywhere.)


Without any further ado, our second holiday feature today:

OK kids, PNC bank has reported that there is a large decrease in the true cost of Christmas in 2020, as this year’s index accounts for cancellations of many live performances. It’s a silent night at most symphonies and the lights have dimmed for many dancers this holiday season, which contributes to the year-over-year decline. In the 37th year of their survey, PNC has found that the 12 items come out to a grand total of $16,168.14, a $22,825.45 decrease from last year. There was some increase this year's CPI prices, driven by the cost increases for gold, the geese-a-laying, and turtle doves. The wages for the ladies dancing, Lords-a-Leaping, pipers piping and drummers drumming, could not be calculated due to COVID restrictions.



These prices are, of course, just for one verse of the song. If you add up the total cost of all the items from the entire song (what PNC Wealth Management calls “The True Cost of Christmas”) it would add up to $105,561.80, down 38% from last year, given the exclusion of live performances.

So it stands to reason that today's holiday theme is - The Twelve Days Of Christmas

The 12 Days Of Christmas   Bing Crosby -




Yet Another Partridge in a Pear Tree   Brian Sibley -




The 12 Days of Quarantine   A Chris Mann Music Parody -




The 12 Days of Christmas A Tale of Avian Misery -




The Twelve Daze of Christmas   Fay McKay -




The 12 Gifts of Christmas   Allan Sherman -




Simon's Cat 12 Days of Christmas -





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The Fifth day of Hanukkah

Another reason Hanukkah feels better than Christmas - Betting Hanukkah gelt (money) on candle races.

Impress your friends: The fifth night of Hanukkah is called 'the darkest night', not because it falls on one of the last days of the Hebrew month of Kislev (meaning there is no moon), but because it is the only night of Hanukkah that can NEVER fall on Shabbat.




Kurstin X Grohl: The Hanukkah Sessions: Night Three



You know you never thought of Mississippi Queen while thinking of Hanukkah


The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming




How The Kvetch Stole Chanukah -




Jacob the Bar Mitzvah Boy explains Hanukkah -




Chanukah at the North Pole -




I believe that oil fatigue may have already set in. Hold on, you will get through this.


For the seventh year in a row, I have be persuaded (forced at gunpoint) by the gentlemen from Bensonhurst to have another Mobbed Up Christmas this year.

(This is not to say that any of these singers are in anyway associated with organized crime.)

It's just that Frankie Lupini, Molluschi Vincenzo, Joey Carrozza, etc, 'requested' these songs.


Merry Christmas Baby Dion -




O Come All Ye Faithful Al Martino -




Baby’s First Christmas Connie Francis -




The Christmas Song Tony Martin -




Do You Hear What I Hear? Bobby Vinton -




Silver Bells Vic Damone -




After many shots and plates of scungilli, baccalà alla vicentina and fried calamari, the boys want to wish everyone Buon Natale and Happy Hanukkah.





Demand Euphoria!

A great miracle happened there - the fourth night

Don't forget to light your menorah before sundown today

Another reason Hanukkah feels better than Christmas - Never a silent night among Jewish families.



After hosting the fourth night of Hanukkah,



now is the time to figure out how to send all the mishpokhe home.


Adam Sandler had nothing better to do than to update his song yet again - Chanukah Song Part 4 -



It's run by a big eastern syndicate, you know.


Puppy for Hanukkah   Daveed Diggs -



I can not let my kids hear this because it will give them ideas.


Kurstin x Grohl: The Hanukkah Sessions: Night Two -



Tonight Dave celebrated the other famous Canadian Jewish singer - Drake.


8 Days (of Hanukkah)   Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings -



I want to know who the butcher was who sold Uncle Saul the brisket


How to light your Hanukkah Candles -



(Psst - From Left to Right)


All About That Neis    The Maccabeats -



They really are such nice boys.


It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Cause you look blurry to me!'
.

Today's second Holiday Theme is A Dean Martin's Christmas (Dean died on Christmas day in 1995.)



As we mentioned yesterday, Frank wasn't the only member of the Rat Pack to sing carols -


Silent Night -



Halfway through December 1818, the church organ in St. Nicholas in Oberndorf, 11 miles north of Salzburg in what is now Austria, broke (a popular version of the story claims that mice had eaten out the bellows). The curate, 26-year-old Josef Mohr, realized it couldn't be repaired in time to provide music on Christmas Eve. He told his troubles to his friend, a headmaster and amateur composer named Franz Gruber, while giving him as a present a poem he had written two years earlier. Gruber was so taken by the rhythm of the poem that he set it to music, and on Christmas Eve there was music after all. Mohr played his guitar while the pair sang the song. It was the first public performance of Stille Nacht or as we know it Silent Night.


Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow! -



This was written by the lyricist Sammy Cahn and the Broadway songwriter Jule Styne in 1945. It was first recorded by Vaughn Monroe, and has since become a standard.


A Marshmallow World -



Dean Martin performed this live with pal Frank Sinatra on the Christmas episode of The Dean Martin Show on December 21, 1967. The following year, he sang it again on the show, this time accompanied by a pair of female dancers wearing Santa suit mini-dresses.


I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm -



It's not really about Christmas, but there's plenty of winter imagery in this frosty tune, what with the snow snowing and the wind blowing, making it a holiday classic.


Jingle Bells



This was the first song played in space. On December 16, 1965, astronauts Wally Schirra and Tom Stafford were aboard Gemini 6 when they played this on a harmonica and bells to Mission Control. Both instruments are displayed at the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum


What the hell I'm starting to feel the bourbon, let's watch an entire episode of The Dean Martin Christmas Show -



The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.



There are 12 days until Christmas


Demand Euphoria.

The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (201)

Tonight is the third night of Hanukkah -

Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with the 1953 Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes cartoon, Robot Rabbit (featuring Elmer Fudd), directed by Friz Freleng.



Look for it: When Bugs says, "I see this cigarette machine's gonna cause me no end of trouble," as he gets chased by the robot, his mouth doesn't move.

ACME wants you to join them in celebrating the holidays with your friends at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour - the official soap of our nation's bald eagles. Remember if your bald eagle's talons are filthy, do we have a soap for you! The holiday season is once again upon us and we are in the middle of Hanukkah. In the past, we're sure your home would be bursting with the various mishpocha, soiling your hand towels. This year, your bathroom linens remain relatively clean but your heart and home are empty of visiting love one. Why not put The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour on in the background and watch these various Hanukkah songs and videos and let us join you. We will never complain that the brisket is too dry!

Let's see what's on the ole turntable for Hanukkah this evening -

The Chanukah Song Part 3    Adam Sandler -




Candlelight 2020   The Maccabeats -




Kurstin x Grohl: The Hanukkah Sessions: Night One -



(We appear to have been late to this party.)



Dave Grohl and Foo Fighters producer Greg Kurstin are foregoing their annual Christmas song tradition and instead, Grohl says, "decided to celebrate Hanukkah by recording eight songs by eight famous Jewish artists and releasing one song each night of Hanukkah."


Spinning (Like a Dreidel)    Jacob Wake Up! -




Weinerville Chanukah Special -



Bet you kids have never seen this one


Heck of a Hanukkah   Even Stevens -




The Hanukkah Story   The Nanny -




Remember to eat some steamed vegetables or a bran muffin.


People often remark that I'm pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you've got to have talent and know how to use it.

Welcome to our Tenth Annual tribute to Ole Blue Eyes - Acme's tip of the hat to The Chairman of the Board.


Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! -



This was written by the lyricist Sammy Cahn and the Broadway songwriter Jule Styne in 1945. Although this song is associated with Christmas, there is no mention of the holiday in the lyrics. It's about making the most of a snowy day by spending it with a loved one by the fire.


Christmas Memories -



Christmas Memories is a fairly obscure holiday song written by Alan Bergman, Marilyn Bergman, and Don Costa in 1975.


Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town -



This was written in 1932 by Haven Gillespie and J. Fred Coots. They had trouble convincing anyone to produce it because it was seen as a kids' song, which would have been very hard to sell. The big break came when Eddie Cantor sang it on his radio show in 1934, and the song became an instant hit. Coots was a writer for Cantor's show and pushed for the host to perform it. Cantor was going to pass on the song but was convinced by his wife, Ida, to give it a try.


Have Yourselves A Merry Little Christmas -



Songwriters Hugh Martin and Ralph Blaine wrote the classic song Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas for Judy Garland's 1944 movie, Meet Me in St. Louis, along with dozens of other songs for MGM and Broadway musicals.


Acme would like to bring you this 1957 Christmas episode of The Frank Sinatra Show - Happy Holidays with Bing and Frank



The special was filmed in color, although ABC originally broadcast it in black and white. The special was directed by Frank Sinatra himself. He and Bing Crosby team up for several musical numbers celebrating the holiday season. Because Bing Crosby liked to pre-record his music in the morning and lip synch on film and Frank Sinatra preferred to record live in the evening, the musical "duets" were recorded ten hours apart with only soft piano accompaniment. Nelson Riddle overrode the piano with the orchestra during editing.


Throughout my career, if I have done anything, I have paid attention to every note and every word I sing - if I respect the song. If I cannot project this to a listener, I fail.



Demand Euphoria!

No awkward explanations of virgin birth

It's the second night of Hanukkah.

(It’s an excuse to eat donuts all day long.)



Gather your family around and listen to some more Hanukkah songs -


The Chanukah Song Part 2   Adam Sandler -




Happy Epic Chanukah -




Arianukah   Six13 -




Give You Everything    Buzzy Lee -




Happy Joyous Hanukkah   The Indigo Girls -




The Rockin’ Dreidel Song   Sha Na Na -




It's our second guest programmer this evening and it has nothing to due with the fact that it's SOS' birthday. (And I did not have to harangue her for several weeks to get her actual choices. I actually had them early)

Here are her holiday choices:

All I Want For Christmas Is You   Vince Vance & The Valiants -



This was co-written and co-produced by Mariah Carey and Walter Afanasieff, who started off as Whitney Houston's arranger and has co-produced and co-written many of Carey's hits, including One Sweet Day and Hero. He also won a 1999 Grammy award for co-producing Celene Dion's My Heart Will Go On.


This Christmas   Donny Hathaway -



Like many Christmas songs, this one took a while to find an audience. Released as a single in 1970, it went nowhere, but later became a modern holiday standard, covered by a wide range of artists including Destiny's Child, Aretha Franklin and Lady Antebellum. Chris Brown is the only artist to chart with the song, reaching #62 in 2007 with his rendition.


O Holy Night   Tori Kelly -



This carol has the distinction of being the first song ever to be played live on a radio broadcast. On December 24, 1906 a Canadian inventor, Reginald Fessenden, broadcast one of the first ever AM radio programs, and the first ever to feature entertainment and music for a general audience, from his Brant Rock, Massachusetts station. After playing Handel's Largo on an Ediphone phonograph, he proceeded to play O Holy Night on his violin, singing the last verse as he played. He finished the broadcast by reading various passages from the Gospel of Luke, before wishing his listeners a Merry Christmas.


White Christmas    The Drifters -



The song enjoyed a sales resurgence every Christmas after it was first released in 1942. It went to #1 that year in America, and again reached the top spot in 1945 and 1947. The song appeared on various Billboard charts every year until 1963 when it finally dropped off the Hot 100.


Please Comer Home For Christmas    The Eagles -



Charles Brown was a Texas Blues musician who first recorded the popular R&B Christmas song Merry Christmas Baby in 1947. Please Come Home For Christmas is a very melancholy Christmas song, as the singer has lost his girl and finds himself unbearably lonely over the holidays. Brown wrote it with Gene Redd, who was a New York producer that went on to guide the career of Kool & the Gang.


There is no reflection on SOS' choices for her favorite holiday songs but today's final holiday special is Really Bad Christmas songs.

I received word from medical authorities that I should avoid posting Leroy The Redneck Reindeer. It would be considered risky given your mental state.



Duly noted.


Same Old Lang Syne    Dan Fogelberg -



When Fogelberg started writing this song, he considered it "a joke," essentially laughing at himself as he looked back on the fateful encounter at the convenience store. When he finished the song, he realized it was an important one so he saved it for his album The Innocent Age. It ended up being his best-known song, exemplifying the gentle but very emotional stories his lyrics portrayed.


Back Door Santa   Bon Jovi -



The Satire Brewing Company has a dark stout holiday beer called Back Door Santa and I have no comment


Yule Shoot Your Eye Out   Fall Out Boy -



Like a lot of Fall Out Boy's music, the song's so emotionally overblown.


Santa Claus is Watchin’ You   Ray Stevens –



Remember to be true to you conservative boyfriend or no presents for you


Cherry Cherry Christmas   Neil Diamond -



Just say no.


We'll end with our perennial favorite -



What list of cheesy holiday songs would be complete without this wretched dreck concerning a filthy child's odd foot fetish (especially since it centers around his dying mother) - always an uplifting tune.



But I will give Patton Oswald the final word on the subject.



Demand Euphoria!

Deep down, it's about giving, not receiving. (well, in theory, anyway)

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah -

You add the candles from right to left but light them left to right.

So, let the serious eating commence.




Original Hanukkah Song Adam Sandler -




On Hanukkah - a Stevie Wonder holiday mash-up   Shir Soul-




Ocho Kandelikas   Isaac Zones -




I Have a Little Dreidel    The Maccabeats -




Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah   Barenaked Ladies -




Please pace yourself - Eight days is a long time. And kids, know when a simple game becomes an addiction - please no actual gambling while playing with your dreidels.



Gamblers Anonymous (718) 352-1671


Our second holiday theme today is one of our favorite holiday games, "Guess the theme?"


Holly Jolly Christmas -



This was written by songwriter Johnny Marks, who had already written the Christmas classic Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, a song that proved so popular the stop-motion animators at Rankin-Bass created a half-hour TV special to expand on the song.


It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year -



This tune is a collaboration by composer George Wyle (known for writing the Gilligan's Island theme) and his regular partner Eddie Pola. It was written specifically for The Andy Williams Christmas Album and the crooner performed it on his popular variety show, The Andy Williams Show.


Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree



This Christmas classic was also written by Johnny Marks. The song was recorded by Brenda Lee in 1958 when she was just 13 years old, but didn’t become popular until 1960 after some of Lee’s other work became popular.


Santa Baby



This song was written by Joan Javits and Philip Springer who began working on the song together in 1953. Along with I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, this was one of the first Christmas novelty songs. Christmas songs written at the time tended to be nostalgic looks at the holiday or kid's songs, but this one took a different approach, with Kitt singing about how she's been good all year and expects some very expensive gifts to appear, including a fur coat, a new coat and even a yacht.


(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays -



This popular Christmas tune was written by Perry Como's frequent accompanist Robert Allen and lyricist Al Stillman, who teamed up to write several hits of the era for Como, The Four Lads (Moments To Remember) and Johnny Mathis (Chances Are).



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