Demand Euphoria!
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Monday, July 29, 2019
Sunday, July 28, 2019
Saturday, July 27, 2019
The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (131)
Thank you for joining us today.
Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with another Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1945 Friz Freleng directed, Herr Meets Hare (the lobby card incorrectly identifies this as a Leon Schlesinger Production. Mr Schlesinger has sold his company to Warner Bros. the previous year.) This short was the penultimate wartime themed cartoon from Warner Bros., (Draftee Daffy was the last.):
Herr Meets Hare was the first time that Bugs would realize he "should have made a left toin at Albukoykee", a famous Bugs Bunny line that would be incorporated into many of his later films.
The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to celebrate the anniversary the birth of Blake Edwards (William Blake Crump) on July 26, 1922. Mr. Edwards was an American TV and film director, somewhat incorrected labelled as a 'comedy director', had a diverse body of films, from comedies to dramas to war films to westerns. Today we thought that we would watch one of his almost forgotten later films, featuring his wife and frequent collaborator, Julie Andrews. So we would like you to sit back (quick, find the most comfortable seat on the sofa,) get a snack and a beverage and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching this neglected film, the 1986 comedy/ drama - That's Life.
The movie was shot in the Malibu beach-side home of Blake Edwards and Julie Andrews. Because it was a non-union shoot, picketers appeared at Blake Edwards's house to disrupt shooting. Problems were resolved between the film-maker and the union.
Demand Euphoria!
Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with another Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1945 Friz Freleng directed, Herr Meets Hare (the lobby card incorrectly identifies this as a Leon Schlesinger Production. Mr Schlesinger has sold his company to Warner Bros. the previous year.) This short was the penultimate wartime themed cartoon from Warner Bros., (Draftee Daffy was the last.):
Herr Meets Hare was the first time that Bugs would realize he "should have made a left toin at Albukoykee", a famous Bugs Bunny line that would be incorporated into many of his later films.
The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to celebrate the anniversary the birth of Blake Edwards (William Blake Crump) on July 26, 1922. Mr. Edwards was an American TV and film director, somewhat incorrected labelled as a 'comedy director', had a diverse body of films, from comedies to dramas to war films to westerns. Today we thought that we would watch one of his almost forgotten later films, featuring his wife and frequent collaborator, Julie Andrews. So we would like you to sit back (quick, find the most comfortable seat on the sofa,) get a snack and a beverage and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching this neglected film, the 1986 comedy/ drama - That's Life.
The movie was shot in the Malibu beach-side home of Blake Edwards and Julie Andrews. Because it was a non-union shoot, picketers appeared at Blake Edwards's house to disrupt shooting. Problems were resolved between the film-maker and the union.
Demand Euphoria!
Friday, July 26, 2019
Thursday, July 25, 2019
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Monday, July 22, 2019
Sunday, July 21, 2019
Saturday, July 20, 2019
The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (130)
Thank you for joining us today.
Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with another Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1944 Friz Freleng directed, Stage Door Cartoon. This is the first cartoon to feature Bugs' signature song "What's Up Doc?" playing during the title card.:
Look for it: Just before Bugs' second curtain scene, we see a piece of scaffold that says "Clampett Trained Seals", a reference to artist Bob Clampett.
Hey, this has been a rough week. You would be forgiven if you wonder what the heck is going on in the country at the moment. The staff here at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour need a break as well. Why don’t we all relax and watch a couple of episodes (Art for Monkees' Sake and The Frodis Caper ) of the fun series from the 60s, The Monkees, in honor of their finishing recording the theme for their self-titled TV show on July 19, 1966. So we would like you to sit back (quick, find the most comfortable seat on the sofa or a spot on the rug,) get a snack and a beverage (smoke ‘em if you got ‘em - we’re not narcs) and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching the first episode of the evening - Art for Monkees' Sake.
Look for it - In the scene where Liberace is smashing up the piano, Mike can be seen falling over laughing in the background.
I'm guess we could all use a break, right about know. As you run into the kitchen and get a beverage refill or run into the bathroom and replenish the eco-system, we here at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour want to recognize the amazing 50th anniversary of Neil and Buzz’s stroll on the lunar surface by watching a favorite of our’s, Wallace and Gromit - A Grand Day Out:
According to the book The World of Wallace and Gromit, the film was originally 40 minutes in length, including a sequence where Wallace and Gromit discover a Fast-food restaurant on the Moon. Nick Park remarked: "Originally, Wallace and Gromit go to the Moon, and there's a whole lot of characters there. One was a parking meter attendant, and the only one that remained - the robot cooker character, but there were also aliens and all sorts. There was even a McDonalds on the Moon, and it was going to be a spoof on Star Wars. Wallace would get thrown in prison and Gromit had to get him out. By the time I came to Aardman, I had just started the Moon sequence and somebody told me, it will take another nine years to do that. I had a reality check and cut the scene. Somehow, I had to tie up the story on the Moon and finish the film."
Our second look today at The Monkees is The Frodis Caper (aka Mijacogeo). So please join us here at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour and sit back, relax and enjoy listening to this second episode of the evening.
The first piece of music heard in this episode is a snippet of Good Morning, Good Morning from the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The Beatles were such fans of the show that when they learned the Monkees wished to use this track, they graciously licensed it free of charge, with no royalties owed. This was the only time the Beatles allowed any of their recordings to be used in a film or TV show royalty-free. This was also the first time a licensed Beatles song was heard on a Prime Time television program.
Demand Euphoria!
Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with another Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1944 Friz Freleng directed, Stage Door Cartoon. This is the first cartoon to feature Bugs' signature song "What's Up Doc?" playing during the title card.:
Look for it: Just before Bugs' second curtain scene, we see a piece of scaffold that says "Clampett Trained Seals", a reference to artist Bob Clampett.
Hey, this has been a rough week. You would be forgiven if you wonder what the heck is going on in the country at the moment. The staff here at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour need a break as well. Why don’t we all relax and watch a couple of episodes (Art for Monkees' Sake and The Frodis Caper ) of the fun series from the 60s, The Monkees, in honor of their finishing recording the theme for their self-titled TV show on July 19, 1966. So we would like you to sit back (quick, find the most comfortable seat on the sofa or a spot on the rug,) get a snack and a beverage (smoke ‘em if you got ‘em - we’re not narcs) and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching the first episode of the evening - Art for Monkees' Sake.
Look for it - In the scene where Liberace is smashing up the piano, Mike can be seen falling over laughing in the background.
I'm guess we could all use a break, right about know. As you run into the kitchen and get a beverage refill or run into the bathroom and replenish the eco-system, we here at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour want to recognize the amazing 50th anniversary of Neil and Buzz’s stroll on the lunar surface by watching a favorite of our’s, Wallace and Gromit - A Grand Day Out:
According to the book The World of Wallace and Gromit, the film was originally 40 minutes in length, including a sequence where Wallace and Gromit discover a Fast-food restaurant on the Moon. Nick Park remarked: "Originally, Wallace and Gromit go to the Moon, and there's a whole lot of characters there. One was a parking meter attendant, and the only one that remained - the robot cooker character, but there were also aliens and all sorts. There was even a McDonalds on the Moon, and it was going to be a spoof on Star Wars. Wallace would get thrown in prison and Gromit had to get him out. By the time I came to Aardman, I had just started the Moon sequence and somebody told me, it will take another nine years to do that. I had a reality check and cut the scene. Somehow, I had to tie up the story on the Moon and finish the film."
Our second look today at The Monkees is The Frodis Caper (aka Mijacogeo). So please join us here at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour and sit back, relax and enjoy listening to this second episode of the evening.
The first piece of music heard in this episode is a snippet of Good Morning, Good Morning from the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The Beatles were such fans of the show that when they learned the Monkees wished to use this track, they graciously licensed it free of charge, with no royalties owed. This was the only time the Beatles allowed any of their recordings to be used in a film or TV show royalty-free. This was also the first time a licensed Beatles song was heard on a Prime Time television program.
Demand Euphoria!
Friday, July 19, 2019
Thursday, July 18, 2019
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
Unfortunately, may cause temporary deafness.
(As well as loss of sensation in your hands.)
Demand Euphoria!
Tuesday, July 16, 2019
Monday, July 15, 2019
Sunday, July 14, 2019
Saturday, July 13, 2019
The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (129)
Thank you for joining us today.
Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with another Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1944 Bob Clampett directed, The Old Grey Hare:
When Elmer Fudd reads a newspaper from the year 2000, there is an article with the headline "Bing Crosby's Horse Hasn't Come in Yet". Crosby was well known as a horse breeder whose horses seldom finished in the money, and the line "Crosby's horse finally came in" was a popular gag line. Also Musical Director Carl W. Stalling's name appears in a newspaper article Elmer reads. The headline reads, "Smellevision Replaces Television" followed by the byline, "Carl Stalling sez, 'It Will Never Work!'"
The staff at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour are all tuckered out. Yesterday was your old friend, the Doctor’s birthday and while I had to work a 16 hour shift, they all went out and enjoyed themselves on my dime (American Express card, to be precise. So I thought I would make things easy and celebrate the date July 13, 1972. (Bunkies try to follow along, this is all very confusing.) The Japanese sci-fi film The X from Outer Space (Uchū Daikaijū Girara or Giant Space Monster Guilala,) directed by Eiji Okada, released on March 25, 1967 in Japan (and 1968 in the US) for some reason was finally released to in Europe on this date. So rather than strain any brain cells, please join us in watching this classic Kaiju. So we would like you to sit back (quick, find the most comfortable seat on the sofa,) get a snack and a beverage and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching The X from Outer Space.
This was the movie studio Shochiku's first monster movie. In case this comes up in conversation - Guliala can:
- run at over 80 miles per hour.
- can absorb a variety of different forms of energy, which help him power his attacks.
- can reduce himself into a spore to allow himself to be undetected.
By all means, please impress your friends with this information.
Demand Euphoria!
Before our feature presentation, ACME would like to start the evening with another Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes cartoon, the 1944 Bob Clampett directed, The Old Grey Hare:
When Elmer Fudd reads a newspaper from the year 2000, there is an article with the headline "Bing Crosby's Horse Hasn't Come in Yet". Crosby was well known as a horse breeder whose horses seldom finished in the money, and the line "Crosby's horse finally came in" was a popular gag line. Also Musical Director Carl W. Stalling's name appears in a newspaper article Elmer reads. The headline reads, "Smellevision Replaces Television" followed by the byline, "Carl Stalling sez, 'It Will Never Work!'"
The staff at The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour are all tuckered out. Yesterday was your old friend, the Doctor’s birthday and while I had to work a 16 hour shift, they all went out and enjoyed themselves on my dime (American Express card, to be precise. So I thought I would make things easy and celebrate the date July 13, 1972. (Bunkies try to follow along, this is all very confusing.) The Japanese sci-fi film The X from Outer Space (Uchū Daikaijū Girara or Giant Space Monster Guilala,) directed by Eiji Okada, released on March 25, 1967 in Japan (and 1968 in the US) for some reason was finally released to in Europe on this date. So rather than strain any brain cells, please join us in watching this classic Kaiju. So we would like you to sit back (quick, find the most comfortable seat on the sofa,) get a snack and a beverage and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching The X from Outer Space.
This was the movie studio Shochiku's first monster movie. In case this comes up in conversation - Guliala can:
- run at over 80 miles per hour.
- can absorb a variety of different forms of energy, which help him power his attacks.
- can reduce himself into a spore to allow himself to be undetected.
By all means, please impress your friends with this information.
Demand Euphoria!
Friday, July 12, 2019
In the dawn we perceive the dusk
As you may know, my high priced lawyers from ACME have urged me to avoid copyright issues with the BBC, so a few years ago, I teamed up with Toho Studios and renamed my Desert Island Discs selections, Godzilla's Atoll LPs, brought to you by ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour.
(In case you've never heard of the BBC show Desert Island Disc - people are asked what music they would bring with them if they were stranded on an island for an indefinite period of time.
Here are the rules:
1.) You make choose 8 pieces of music and tell me why you chose them.
2.) You then get to choose one book to take with you (you automatically get to take the Complete Works of Shakespeare and either the Bible or another appropriate religious or philosophical work.) 3.) You get to choose one luxury, which must be inanimate and of no use in escaping the island or allowing communication from outside. (You can cheat here - since you can listen to music, there is some form of electric, so you may have refrigeration for your luxury item.)
There is nothing profound or deep in my Godzilla's Atoll LP choices - they're just songs that I like (in no particular order)
Wild Is The Wind - David Bowie
As has recently been my want, I'm going to start with the toughest. Choosing your favorite Bowie cut is like choosing you favorite kid. After I boiled it down for the purposes of Godzilla's Atoll LP by looking at some past choices. Listening to this would remind me of Nina Simone's brilliant version of the song (so it's a twofer.) Hearing this song on any morning would wipe away any drab thought I might have while on the island; the music will carry you away.<.
Shangri-La - Electric Light Orchestra
I loved ELO as a kid. I saw them play twice at Madison Square Garden. It was as close as I was ever going to get to seeing the Beatles. I could only imagine blasting this on a beach at sunset.
Life During Wartime - Talking Heads
Again, I love the Talking Heads. The film, Stop Making Sense, is one of the greatest concert films ever made. I energy coming off the screen is palpable. If ever I had a low energy day on the island, this would have to be my go-to song.
Autumn Leaves - Rickie Lee Jones
This is a damn good dry martini of a song. (It's another twofer, leading into Tom Waits, but that's another story.)
Jersey Girl - Tom Waits
Why wouldn't you want to listen to Tom Waits? I don't think I trust anyone who doesn't like Tom Waits. (Psst - this is the best Bruce Springsteen song that Springsteen never wrote, so it's another twofer.)
Show Biz Kids - Steely Dan
Ah, the ever present Steely Dan cut. I probably wouldn't need a Steely Dan song; I could call them up at will in my mind. But this is a fun one (and I'm going to stop trying to choose; I've changed my mind four times already.) This seems to be continuing a theme. And I won't forget my Steely Dan t-shirt!
Quiet Nights and Quiet Stars - Frank Sinatra
I can't have every Sinatra song, so once again, I picked one of the bossa nova hits (Also thinking about the recent passing of Antonio Carlos Jobim); why wouldn't you listen to a bossa nova Sinatra song while you're on a desert island.
Desperados Under The Eaves - Warren Zevon
I had to have a Warren Zevon and I figured I go with one of the 'less-cheerful' ones. I'm mentioned before, that this song will always remind me of floating in a pool at the Ritz Carlton in Hong Kong, awaiting my second martini of the day. Also California seems to be ready to 'tumble into the ocean.'
Watching the Detectives - Elvis Costello
Even on a desert island, you need to keep watching the detectives! I can't believe that this song is over 40 years old (and I've been listening to it since it came out.)
The book I'd take with me would be The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night (and the Supplemental Nights) translated by the original international man of mystery sir Richard Burton (I'll take a paperback edition.)
There's enough going on in this book to keep me busy for awhile (and that's before even reading the various annotated notes and indexes.) As always, the luxury item would be a refrigerator full of Bombay Sapphire (and maybe, tub or two of kalamata olivies.)
So that's eight songs (and that's all you're allowed.) This year I feel somewhat restless with my choices (I've changed a few of them several times.) I have an entire year to distract myself from thinking about turning 60 next year, so I can get ready to get marooned again next year for my birthday, and see how I do.
Demand Euphoria!
(In case you've never heard of the BBC show Desert Island Disc - people are asked what music they would bring with them if they were stranded on an island for an indefinite period of time.
Here are the rules:
1.) You make choose 8 pieces of music and tell me why you chose them.
2.) You then get to choose one book to take with you (you automatically get to take the Complete Works of Shakespeare and either the Bible or another appropriate religious or philosophical work.) 3.) You get to choose one luxury, which must be inanimate and of no use in escaping the island or allowing communication from outside. (You can cheat here - since you can listen to music, there is some form of electric, so you may have refrigeration for your luxury item.)
There is nothing profound or deep in my Godzilla's Atoll LP choices - they're just songs that I like (in no particular order)
Wild Is The Wind - David Bowie
As has recently been my want, I'm going to start with the toughest. Choosing your favorite Bowie cut is like choosing you favorite kid. After I boiled it down for the purposes of Godzilla's Atoll LP by looking at some past choices. Listening to this would remind me of Nina Simone's brilliant version of the song (so it's a twofer.) Hearing this song on any morning would wipe away any drab thought I might have while on the island; the music will carry you away.<.
Shangri-La - Electric Light Orchestra
I loved ELO as a kid. I saw them play twice at Madison Square Garden. It was as close as I was ever going to get to seeing the Beatles. I could only imagine blasting this on a beach at sunset.
Life During Wartime - Talking Heads
Again, I love the Talking Heads. The film, Stop Making Sense, is one of the greatest concert films ever made. I energy coming off the screen is palpable. If ever I had a low energy day on the island, this would have to be my go-to song.
Autumn Leaves - Rickie Lee Jones
This is a damn good dry martini of a song. (It's another twofer, leading into Tom Waits, but that's another story.)
Jersey Girl - Tom Waits
Why wouldn't you want to listen to Tom Waits? I don't think I trust anyone who doesn't like Tom Waits. (Psst - this is the best Bruce Springsteen song that Springsteen never wrote, so it's another twofer.)
Show Biz Kids - Steely Dan
Ah, the ever present Steely Dan cut. I probably wouldn't need a Steely Dan song; I could call them up at will in my mind. But this is a fun one (and I'm going to stop trying to choose; I've changed my mind four times already.) This seems to be continuing a theme. And I won't forget my Steely Dan t-shirt!
Quiet Nights and Quiet Stars - Frank Sinatra
I can't have every Sinatra song, so once again, I picked one of the bossa nova hits (Also thinking about the recent passing of Antonio Carlos Jobim); why wouldn't you listen to a bossa nova Sinatra song while you're on a desert island.
Desperados Under The Eaves - Warren Zevon
I had to have a Warren Zevon and I figured I go with one of the 'less-cheerful' ones. I'm mentioned before, that this song will always remind me of floating in a pool at the Ritz Carlton in Hong Kong, awaiting my second martini of the day. Also California seems to be ready to 'tumble into the ocean.'
Watching the Detectives - Elvis Costello
Even on a desert island, you need to keep watching the detectives! I can't believe that this song is over 40 years old (and I've been listening to it since it came out.)
The book I'd take with me would be The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night (and the Supplemental Nights) translated by the original international man of mystery sir Richard Burton (I'll take a paperback edition.)
So that's eight songs (and that's all you're allowed.) This year I feel somewhat restless with my choices (I've changed a few of them several times.) I have an entire year to distract myself from thinking about turning 60 next year, so I can get ready to get marooned again next year for my birthday, and see how I do.
Demand Euphoria!
Thursday, July 11, 2019
Wednesday, July 10, 2019
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Monday, July 8, 2019
Sunday, July 7, 2019
Saturday, July 6, 2019
The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour (128)
Thank you for joining us today.
Buckaroo Bugs 1944 Looney Tune title, directed by Bob Clampett. This was the last cartoon release to bear Leon Schlesinger's name, as he sold his cartoon studio to Warner Bros. around the time of its release.
This is the only short in which Bugs Bunny served as a bona fide villain; while his shorts often portray him as mischievous and violent, he is never actually malicious and is, for the most part, acting as such in self-defense against an aggressor.
History is a peculiar concept. Children are taught to memorize certain dates as touchstones to change: 1492; July 4, 1776; November 11, 1918; July 6, 1957; July 16, 1969. July 6, 1957? The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to celebrate the anniversary of a 15-year old Paul McCartney meeting a 16-year old John Lennon at the St Peter's Church fair, where John's skiffle band, the Quarrymen were performing. Quite literally, the world as we know it changed after that meeting. Today we would like you to join us in watching the Beatle's 1964 movie, A Hard's Day Night, which happened to premiere in London on this date in 1964. So we would like you to find the most comfortable seat on the sofa, get a snack and a beverage and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching the first feature the Beatles appeared in - A Hard's Day Night.
After filming for the day on April 1st 1964, John Lennon had met his father, Alfred Lennon, for the first time in 17 years. In the morning Alf had walked into NEMS Enterprises (where The Beatles' manager Brian Epstein worked) accompanied by a journalist. After explaining to the receptionist that he was John's father, and when Epstein was informed he immediately sent for a car to pick up John, the rest of The Beatles with the exception of Paul McCartney tagging along, bringing them over to NEMS. The meeting was unsuccessful, however; the first words John said to his father were, "What do you want?" The meeting lasted no longer than 20 minutes, and ended up with a furious John ordering Alf off the premises. The encounter was kept out of newspapers by trading with the journalist for exclusive stories about the other bands Epstein managed.
Demand Euphoria!
Buckaroo Bugs 1944 Looney Tune title, directed by Bob Clampett. This was the last cartoon release to bear Leon Schlesinger's name, as he sold his cartoon studio to Warner Bros. around the time of its release.
This is the only short in which Bugs Bunny served as a bona fide villain; while his shorts often portray him as mischievous and violent, he is never actually malicious and is, for the most part, acting as such in self-defense against an aggressor.
History is a peculiar concept. Children are taught to memorize certain dates as touchstones to change: 1492; July 4, 1776; November 11, 1918; July 6, 1957; July 16, 1969. July 6, 1957? The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to celebrate the anniversary of a 15-year old Paul McCartney meeting a 16-year old John Lennon at the St Peter's Church fair, where John's skiffle band, the Quarrymen were performing. Quite literally, the world as we know it changed after that meeting. Today we would like you to join us in watching the Beatle's 1964 movie, A Hard's Day Night, which happened to premiere in London on this date in 1964. So we would like you to find the most comfortable seat on the sofa, get a snack and a beverage and join The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour in watching the first feature the Beatles appeared in - A Hard's Day Night.
After filming for the day on April 1st 1964, John Lennon had met his father, Alfred Lennon, for the first time in 17 years. In the morning Alf had walked into NEMS Enterprises (where The Beatles' manager Brian Epstein worked) accompanied by a journalist. After explaining to the receptionist that he was John's father, and when Epstein was informed he immediately sent for a car to pick up John, the rest of The Beatles with the exception of Paul McCartney tagging along, bringing them over to NEMS. The meeting was unsuccessful, however; the first words John said to his father were, "What do you want?" The meeting lasted no longer than 20 minutes, and ended up with a furious John ordering Alf off the premises. The encounter was kept out of newspapers by trading with the journalist for exclusive stories about the other bands Epstein managed.
Demand Euphoria!
Friday, July 5, 2019
Thursday, July 4, 2019
Happy 4th of July from our remote location!
(As has been our usual want for many a year, Mrs. Dr. Caligari, SOS, Godzilla and I are laying on a beach with our mispukah. Our internet
connection is spotty, so I have attempted to post this a few days ago.)
(This photo was taken by by CIA operatives several years ago, while we were on vacation in the same undisclosed location.)
Happy Sedition against Our Former Sovereign nation
If only for one day a year, it's important to remember that the British weren't always the friendly sort of people who gave us the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and Monty Python. They're also responsible for warm beer, vinegar-flavored potato chips, and irritating Anglophiliacs on our own shores schedule as shed-yule and issue as iss-yew. On July 4 of every year, therefore, we celebrate our forefathers having told them to screw.
We not only celebrate the purging of the British blight from our land: we celebrate the manner in which it was done, which was at once brilliant, daring, and easily adapted to the screen. The events that led to our independence are all the more worthy of remembrance, even inaccurately, at this crucial juncture in our history, and I therefore offer the following summary of American independence for the edification of my friends.
In 1774, representatives from each of the thirteen colonies convened in Philadelphia to complain. This was The First Continental Congress. Upon registering their various complaints, they returned home.
One of the colonists' primary complaints was that British cabbies working in the colonies refused to unionize. This was called "Taxis without Representation," and became the issue that ultimately pushed the simmering discontent of the colonies into outright hostility. Sensing the volatility of the situation, British troops advanced toward Concord in April of 1775, forcing Paul Revere to ride his horse (and not to ring bells and warn the British not to take our guns but we won't bring up Mrs. Palin on this holiday.)
The first shot that rang out at the battle of Concord was so loud that its sound reverberated all the way around the world. As a result, the British heard it behind them instead of in front of them. This caused the fog of war. Neither the British nor the Colonists were prepared for fog, so the War was postponed.
In May, representatives once again convened in Philadelphia to complain about the taxis, the fog, and other grievances. This was the Second Continental Congress. Unlike the previous Congress, however, this one tried to work out a deal with Britain's King George. This was difficult, as King George was insane and regularly confused the colonies for colostomies, causing considerable embarrassment to everyone involved but accruing great profit to Britain's flourishing proctology trade.
In June the Colonists developed a Continental Army and a Continental Currency, operating on the assumption that an insane king would be easier to deal with if they had a lot of money and guns. This assumption proved partly correct, as the Brits appeared to ease hostilities for nearly a year. It also proved partly wrong when, in May 1776, the Americans discovered that the King had been hiring German mercenaries to come kill them.
In June of 1776 the Colonists finally decided that instead of working something out with the British it would be easier and more satisfactory to
shoot them.
On June 7, Richard Henry Lee of Virginia read a resolution to the Continental Congress. The essence of his resolution was that King George and Great Britain could kiss his hairy American ass. The Congress appreciated Lee's sentiments, and subsequently formed a committee to write a note to King George in which it would be made plain why it had become necessary to start shooting the British.
The committee was chaired by Thomas Jefferson. Its four other members were John Adams and Benjamin Franklin (each of whom was counted twice for the sake of Stature - ok, ok, Roger Sherman and Robert Livingston were also on the committee.)
The Declaration of Independence wasn't a very long document, but little Tommy Jefferson was trying so hard to impress all the older guys that he overwrote it, using an archaic style of English that is best understood in translation.
Here is a translation of the Declaration in its entirety:
"It's a good idea to let people know why you're having a revolution. We think it's pretty obvious that any government that screws its people over is cruising for a bruising. We're not saying anyone with a hair up their butt ought to have their own revolution, but we've put up with an awful lot of crap from King George. He won't let us do anything on our own, and whenever we try, he sends people to kill us. We've asked him over and over to back off. We've told him over and over that we'd only put up with so much. But did he listen? No. So to hell with him and to hell with Britain and all their phony goddam accents. We'll kick their ass or die trying."
These were, what political scientists refer to as "fightin' words."
On July 4, 1776, the Declaration was presented to the Congress. Nine of the thirteen colonies voted to adopt it. Pennsylvania and South Carolina voted against it (we know where you live). Delaware couldn't make up its mind, and New York abstained. Copies of the Declaration were distributed the next day (photocopiers were much slower back then). On July 8 it was read aloud in Philadelphia's Independence Square.
The document wasn't fully signed until August, but as soon as it was, Americans began shooting the British in earnest. By February of 1783 they
had shot enough of them that Spain, Sweden, Denmark and Russia officially acknowledged the United States of America as an independent nation.
In honor of our Independence, we celebrate the anniversary of its declaration by blowing things up, roasting dead animals over hot coals or gaseous flames, and drinking cold, sudsy beverages that inhibit our ability to think. Such festivities may not honor the philosophical nuances of our revolution, but they do keep the rest of the world at a comfortable distance.
Happy Fourth of July folks!!!
And bunkies remember - Drink til you drop and don't drive! The live you save may be mine.
Demand Euphoria!
Happy Sedition against Our Former Sovereign nation
If only for one day a year, it's important to remember that the British weren't always the friendly sort of people who gave us the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and Monty Python. They're also responsible for warm beer, vinegar-flavored potato chips, and irritating Anglophiliacs on our own shores schedule as shed-yule and issue as iss-yew. On July 4 of every year, therefore, we celebrate our forefathers having told them to screw.
We not only celebrate the purging of the British blight from our land: we celebrate the manner in which it was done, which was at once brilliant, daring, and easily adapted to the screen. The events that led to our independence are all the more worthy of remembrance, even inaccurately, at this crucial juncture in our history, and I therefore offer the following summary of American independence for the edification of my friends.
In 1774, representatives from each of the thirteen colonies convened in Philadelphia to complain. This was The First Continental Congress. Upon registering their various complaints, they returned home.
One of the colonists' primary complaints was that British cabbies working in the colonies refused to unionize. This was called "Taxis without Representation," and became the issue that ultimately pushed the simmering discontent of the colonies into outright hostility. Sensing the volatility of the situation, British troops advanced toward Concord in April of 1775, forcing Paul Revere to ride his horse (and not to ring bells and warn the British not to take our guns but we won't bring up Mrs. Palin on this holiday.)
The first shot that rang out at the battle of Concord was so loud that its sound reverberated all the way around the world. As a result, the British heard it behind them instead of in front of them. This caused the fog of war. Neither the British nor the Colonists were prepared for fog, so the War was postponed.
In May, representatives once again convened in Philadelphia to complain about the taxis, the fog, and other grievances. This was the Second Continental Congress. Unlike the previous Congress, however, this one tried to work out a deal with Britain's King George. This was difficult, as King George was insane and regularly confused the colonies for colostomies, causing considerable embarrassment to everyone involved but accruing great profit to Britain's flourishing proctology trade.
In June the Colonists developed a Continental Army and a Continental Currency, operating on the assumption that an insane king would be easier to deal with if they had a lot of money and guns. This assumption proved partly correct, as the Brits appeared to ease hostilities for nearly a year. It also proved partly wrong when, in May 1776, the Americans discovered that the King had been hiring German mercenaries to come kill them.
On June 7, Richard Henry Lee of Virginia read a resolution to the Continental Congress. The essence of his resolution was that King George and Great Britain could kiss his hairy American ass. The Congress appreciated Lee's sentiments, and subsequently formed a committee to write a note to King George in which it would be made plain why it had become necessary to start shooting the British.
The committee was chaired by Thomas Jefferson. Its four other members were John Adams and Benjamin Franklin (each of whom was counted twice for the sake of Stature - ok, ok, Roger Sherman and Robert Livingston were also on the committee.)
The Declaration of Independence wasn't a very long document, but little Tommy Jefferson was trying so hard to impress all the older guys that he overwrote it, using an archaic style of English that is best understood in translation.
Here is a translation of the Declaration in its entirety:
"It's a good idea to let people know why you're having a revolution. We think it's pretty obvious that any government that screws its people over is cruising for a bruising. We're not saying anyone with a hair up their butt ought to have their own revolution, but we've put up with an awful lot of crap from King George. He won't let us do anything on our own, and whenever we try, he sends people to kill us. We've asked him over and over to back off. We've told him over and over that we'd only put up with so much. But did he listen? No. So to hell with him and to hell with Britain and all their phony goddam accents. We'll kick their ass or die trying."
These were, what political scientists refer to as "fightin' words."
On July 4, 1776, the Declaration was presented to the Congress. Nine of the thirteen colonies voted to adopt it. Pennsylvania and South Carolina voted against it (we know where you live). Delaware couldn't make up its mind, and New York abstained. Copies of the Declaration were distributed the next day (photocopiers were much slower back then). On July 8 it was read aloud in Philadelphia's Independence Square.
In honor of our Independence, we celebrate the anniversary of its declaration by blowing things up, roasting dead animals over hot coals or gaseous flames, and drinking cold, sudsy beverages that inhibit our ability to think. Such festivities may not honor the philosophical nuances of our revolution, but they do keep the rest of the world at a comfortable distance.
Happy Fourth of July folks!!!
And bunkies remember - Drink til you drop and don't drive! The live you save may be mine.
Demand Euphoria!
Wednesday, July 3, 2019
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Monday, July 1, 2019
Our special Salute to Canada from The ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour
Despite what the man in the White House thinks about his former bro, Justin Trudeau, the ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour would like to salute our friends in Canada on Canada Day.
Canada is the second-largest nation in the world. It is not part of the United States - (it's the U.S.' nicer sister, not dissing Mexico, the U.S.' feistier sister.)
A little jewel sitting at the top of the continent.
In the 152 years of their nationhood, Canadians have given the world paint rollers, snowmobiles, electric organs, green ink, toboggans, snow blowers, plexiglass, and the push-up bra.
Canada has about the same population as California, but fewer Scientologists.
/https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/sports/hockey/2011/01/11/kelly_canadian_world_junior_fans_criticized_in_buffalo/fans1.jpeg)
Residents of Churchill, Canada, leave their cars unlocked to offer an escape for pedestrians who might encounter Polar Bears.
Today is the 39th anniversary of the Canadian national anthem, 'Like America, But Colder.'
Canada's leading export to the United States is Canadians. Dan Aykroyd, who happens to have been born exactly 67 years ago today, is one.
Pamela Anderson is another, and was also born today, although she's younger (most of her is north of 40, but some parts are significantly younger).
Other Canadian exports: Bryan Adams, Paul Anka, Alexander Graham Bell, Raymond Burr (of nipple rouge fame), John Candy, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion, Michael J. Fox, John Kenneth Galbraith, Lorne Greene, Peter Jennings, kd lang, Marshall McLuhan, Joni Mitchell (hopefully she's doing well), Alice Munro, Mike Myers,
Catherine OHara, Oscar Peterson, William Shatner, Alex Trebek, Shania Twain, Neil Young and of course everyone's favorite Canadian Zen Buddhist, the late Leonard Cohen.
(... I don’t mean to suggest that I loved you the best, I can’t keep track of each fallen robin.)
Demand Euphoria!
Canada is the second-largest nation in the world. It is not part of the United States - (it's the U.S.' nicer sister, not dissing Mexico, the U.S.' feistier sister.)
A little jewel sitting at the top of the continent.
In the 152 years of their nationhood, Canadians have given the world paint rollers, snowmobiles, electric organs, green ink, toboggans, snow blowers, plexiglass, and the push-up bra.
Canada has about the same population as California, but fewer Scientologists.
Canada's leading export to the United States is Canadians. Dan Aykroyd, who happens to have been born exactly 67 years ago today, is one.
Pamela Anderson is another, and was also born today, although she's younger (most of her is north of 40, but some parts are significantly younger).
Catherine OHara, Oscar Peterson, William Shatner, Alex Trebek, Shania Twain, Neil Young and of course everyone's favorite Canadian Zen Buddhist, the late Leonard Cohen.
(... I don’t mean to suggest that I loved you the best, I can’t keep track of each fallen robin.)
Demand Euphoria!
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