It's almost swimwear time
You may not have known it, but in the United States,
May is
National Salad Month. By an astonishing coincidence, the second full week of
May is
National Herb Week. It's a time to celebrate the verdure of the earth with verdure on a plate. Or in a bowl—salad is just that versatile!
Salad has a long and noble history. The word itself comes from the Latin
herba salta, which sounds like urban assault but actually means salted herbs. They called their salads salted herbs because that's what they were: bits of leafy herbs dressed with salty oils.
The Romans weren't the first people to enjoy salad. Though it's hard to imagine, people were eating herbs and vegetables long before the invention of salad forks. Many of our evolutionary forebears ate leaves and veggies right off the plants, vines, and trees on which they grew. In fact, scientists believe our ancient grazing tendencies may explain the popularity of salad bars and our willingness to overlook the inadequacy of most sneeze guards.
The salad was not perfected, however, until the develop of
Bac-O Bits®, a genetically altered bacon substitute whose artificial bacon flavor and resistance to radiation have made it a staple of American salads, to say nothing of its cult popularity as driveway gravel.
According to the
Association for Dressings and Sauces, the altruistic sponsors of
National Salad Month, salad dressings and sauces have a history as rich and varied as salad itself. The Chinese have been using soy sauce for over five thousand years, the Babylonians used oil and vinegar, and Worcestershire was popular in Caesar's day. (Ironically, however, the Caesar salad was not invented by
Julius Caesar. It wasn't even invented by
Sid Caesar. It was invented by
Caesar Cardini, a Mexican restauranteur, in
1924.)
The Egyptians favored oil and vinegar mixed with Oriental spices.
Mayonnaise was invented by the
Duke de Richelieu in
1756 after defeating the British at
Port Mahon on
Majorca (hence "
Mahonnaise," later corrected to mayonnaise). The Duke was best known not for his military victories, however, but his all-nude dinner parties. I'm not going to speculate as to how a bunch of naked people got the idea of covering their salads in a creamy sauce.
In
1896,
Joe Marzetti of
Columbus, Ohio, opened a
restaurant and served his customers a variety of dressings developed from old country recipes. His restaurant might have done better if he had served them actual meals, but his dressings became so popular that he started to bottle and sell them.
It was the birth of a market niche.
Half a century later, in
1950, Americans bought
6.3 million gallons of salad dressing. In
1997, they bought more than
60 million gallons. (This information is indisputable, because it appears on the Association of Dressings and Sauces' website.)
Since the
United States had a population of about
260 million in
1997, it looks like the average American buys about
4.3 gallons of salad dressing each year. That's enough to drip a tablespoon per mile from
New York to
Chicago. I myself don't buy salad dressing, which means that some poor bastard has to buy
8.6 gallons each year to make up the difference. But it all comes out in the wash: I'm probably drinking his gin.
It's informative to note, however, that the
Association of Dressings and Sauces measures salad dressing sold, not consumed. We've all seen salad dressing in the final stages of decomposition, the once creamy sauce crusting around the edges and congealing in the bottom of the bottle. Added up nationwide, that's got to be a few million gallons a year.
So it's not like we're pigs or anything.
