Today, we bring you - Really Bad Christmas songs. (I received word from medical authorities that I should avoid posting Kanye West singing any Christmas song. It would be considered risky given his mental state. Duly noted.)
Jan Terri - Excuse My Christmas
I am of two minds on this - this is an amazingly bad holiday video, almost on the level of Ed Wood. But Ms. Terri is very well known as an 'Outsider Rock and Roll' performer and there are people posting on the web that this is one of their favorite holiday songs. It is not one of mine.
The Killers - Don't Shoot Me Santa
You are not going to get on the 'nice list' any time soon 'thumbing up' this song. I'm going to show my age here, but this is hipsterism at it worse.
Justin Bieber – Drummer Boy
If you can afford it, please feel free to smash the speakers of your computer.
Duck the Halls - Hairy Christmas
Members of the Duck Dynasty crew, continuing to play on their cheap fake-hillbilly schtick, pluck the twangy heartstrings with a nonsense song about doing Christmas the redneck way.
Bon Jovi - Back Door Santa
Ah, Christmas. Snow. The spirit of goodwill to all men. The innocent joy in a child’s eye. Bribing those same children to go away so you can have anal sex with their mums before their dads get home. And remember this song was on an album that raised millions of dollars for the Special Olympics.
We'll end with our perennial favorite -
What list of cheesy holiday songs would be complete without this wretched dreck concerning a filthy child's odd foot fetish (especially since it centers around his dying mother) - always an uplifting tune.
But I will give Patton Oswald the final word on the subject.
And so it goes.
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